7 Crucial Steps to Minimize Drama in Your Life :By Lori Desc

1. Recognize when you might be creating drama.

You get what you put out. If you act in a way that is positive and minimal drama, you attract the same kind of positive situations and people. ~April Myers
Drama usually comes from my reaction to other people’s actions. I stop to think: Does this really matter in the long run, or am I just trying to be right? ~Anita Grimm-Hohl
I minimize drama within myself. When I’m focused and calm, so is the world around me. ~Cynthia Ruprecht Hunt
Take if off the page:
If there’s drama in multiple areas of your life, be honest with yourself—you’re the constant. Are you creating it? We don’t do anything repeatedly unless there’s something in it for us, so, what’s the payoff?
Are you looking for attention or excitement? Did you grow up with drama and you just plain feel best when there’s some around you?
Now aim to find alternative solutions. If you’re looking for attention, can you get it more directly? If you’re bored, what new adventure can create in your life?

2. Change your perspective.

Be happy about little things, let the big stuff go because I can’t change any of it. ~Grace Foo
I zoom out in my mind to a point far enough away and above so that I can see things in my life for what they are. By doing this, I can see from a distance how small and unimportant the situation is in the big scope of the universe. ~Larry Stilts
Is this situation going to matter a year from now? If not, it’s not worth worrying about. ~Angela Orr
Take it off the page:
A lot of the drama takes place in our own heads, and it’s usually because we’re too deeply immersed in a difficult situation to recognize it isn’t as dire as it seems.
If you feel yourself getting overwhelmed by a situation, step back and realize this feeling isn’t permanent—nothing is. Then focus on action steps—on the things you can control. What can you today to proactively create a solution?

3. Don’t feed into other people’s drama.

Build a reputation for not participating in drama. ~Addy Rodriguez
Just be. Anything you resist persists. Don’t add any negative or positive focus on it. ~Nikki Star
Speak less, listen more. You have time to hear and see the drama and sidestep it. ~Alexis Benjamin‎
Be an observer. Not everything needs a reaction. ~Angelina PhouGui Chan-Ong
Take it off the page:
If someone repeatedly comes to you with catastrophes, give yourself a window of time when you’ll listen, and then take care of your own needs by walking away. Also, resist the urge to jump into a pity party. Oftentimes people calm themselves down when other people don’t validate their complaints.
Lastly, focus on your breath. Your calming energy may even help them let go.

4. Reconsider unhealthy relationships.

Minimize dramatic people in your life. ~Jeff Palmer
Befriend only people with good energy that don’t promote or create drama. ~Carmen Portela
I realize that spending time by myself is always preferable to spending time with someone who wants drama. Nothing wrong with a dull day. ~Stephanie Goddard
Remove the source of drama from my life. It really is that simple. ~Claudia Jacobs
Take it off the page:
Take an inventory of which people in your life leave you feeling stressed and unhappy more often than not. If you don’t want to completely remove a toxic relationship, minimize the time you spend together.
If you don’t want to change how often you see each other, recognize drama triggers. When the conversation moves toward her horrible mother, steer it somewhere else.

5. Be clear and straight with other people.

Be as open and honest and communicative as possible. Listen without reacting. ~Faith McGregor
If I have an issue with someone I go straight to them to talk about it, and I don’t talk to anyone else about it if they aren’t involved. Gossip breeds drama! ~Kristie Sherman
Drama comes about because of either misunderstanding or overreaction. Be as honest and open in all cases as possible. Quell your own negative emotions, which will in turn diffuse the negative emotions of others. ~Vito Ruiz
Take it off the page:
A lot of drama comes from poor communication and confusion. Eliminate it by finding the courage to say exactly what you mean. It may be harder in the moment, but it can save a lot of heartache in the long run.
On the flip side, let people know that they can be honest with you. If someone thinks they need to walk on eggshells around you, they’ll likely hold things in—but they will come out eventually, if not in words, in resentful actions.

6. Be slow to label something as “drama.”

When it comes to people you know you love, always take an extra moment to reconsider, if the “problem” is actually a problem, if it’s worth making a big deal out of it. ~Christian Andersen Hauge
I realize that life is a roller-coaster and my problems are much like others’ at different times. ~Margaret I. Gibson
Love them a little more. It’s who they are. It might even be you. ~Ed Pulsifer
Don’t speculate, good or bad. Simply deal with what’s actually in front of you. ~Michael Stodola
Take it off the page:
Sometimes what we’re labeling as drama is just someone who really needs us. Instead of expelling mental energy judging the situation as good or bad, focus on being there and being a friend in the moment.
Then be a friend to yourself and let the drama go when you walk away.  A lot of the drama we experience in life comes from our interpretations of the things we experience—particularly after the moments have passed.

7. Learn from drama.

I attempt to allow the inevitable episode, extract any potential meaning or lesson, and equally allow it to pass. ~Joel Olmstead
I try to see the learning experience in the drama. And I think of the sentence “Without rain you can’t enjoy the sunny days.” ~Anja Feijen
Accept it, learn from it, and go on with life. ~Vincent Neerings
Take it off the page:
Sometimes it seems like drama happens to us, and we’re powerless to remove ourselves from the cause. Another perspective is that every time we find ourselves immersed in something that seems overwhelming, we have an opportunity to learn how to deal with challenges better.
Life will always involve mini fires that we feel desperate to put out. If we can learn not to fan them, they may actually be able to light our way

7 Reasons to Stop Proving Yourself to Everyone Else:post written by: Marc Chernoff

Sometimes we try to show the world we are flawless in hopes that we will be liked and accepted by everyone, but we can’t please everyone and we shouldn’t try.  The beauty of us lies in our vulnerability, our complex emotions, and our authentic imperfections.  When we embrace who we are and decide to be authentic, instead of who we think others want us to be, we open ourselves up to real relationships, real happiness, and real success.
There is no need to put on a mask.  There is no need to pretend to be someone you’re not.  You have nothing to prove to anyone else, because…

1.  The people worth impressing just want you to be yourself.

In the long run, it’s better to be loathed for who you are than loved for who you are not.  In fact, the only relationships that work well in the long run are the ones that make you a better person without changing you into someone other than yourself, and without preventing you from outgrowing the person you used to be.
Ignore the comparisons and expectations knocking at your door.  The only person you should try to be better than is the person you were yesterday.  Prove yourself to yourself, not others.  The RIGHT people for you will love you for doing so, and they will appreciate all the things about you that the WRONG people are intimidated by.  Bottom line: Don’t change so people will like you; be patient, keep being your amazing self, and pretty soon the RIGHT people will love the REAL you.

2.  No one else really knows what’s best for YOU.

Don’t lose yourself in your search for acceptance by others.  Walk your path confidently and don’t expect anyone else to understand your journey, especially if they have not been exactly where you are going.  You have to take the steps that are right for you; no one else walks in your shoes.
Let others take you as you are, or not at all.  Speak your truth even if your voice shakes.  By being true to yourself, you put something breathtaking into the world that was not there before.  You are stunning when your passion and strength shines through as you follow your own path – when you aren’t distracted by the opinions of others.  You are powerful when you let your mistakes educate you, and your confidence builds from firsthand experiences – when you know you can fall down, pick yourself up, and move forward without asking for anyone else’s permission.  

3.  YOU are the only person who can change YOUR life.

In every situation you have ever been in, positive or negative, the one common thread is you.  It is your responsibility, and yours alone, to recognize that regardless of what has happened up to this point in your life, you are capable of making choices to change your situation, or to change the way you think about it.  Don’t let the opinions of others interfere with this prevailing reality.
What you’re capable of achieving is not a function of what other people think is possible for you.  What you’re capable of achieving depends entirely on what you choose to do with your time and energy.  So stop worrying about what everyone else thinks.  Just keep living your truth.  The only people that will fault you for doing so are those who want you to live a lie.

4.  Society’s materialistic measurement of worth is worthless.

When you find yourself trapped between what moves you and what society tells you is right for you, always travel the route that makes you feel alive – unless you want everyone to be happy, except you.  No matter where life takes you, big cities or small towns, you will inevitably come across others who think they know what’s best for you – people who think they’re better than you – people who think happiness, success and beauty mean the same things to everyone.
They’ll try to measure your worth based on what you have, instead of who you are.  But you know better than that – material things don’t matter.  Don’t chase the money.  Catch up to the ideas and activities that make you come alive.  Go for the things of greater value – the things money can’t buy.  What matters is having strength of character, an honest heart, and a sense of self-worth.  If you’re lucky enough to have any of these things, never sell them.  Never sell yourself short. 

5.  Life isn’t a race; you have nothing to prove.

Everyone wants to get to the top of the mountain first and shout, “Look at me!  Look at me!”  But the truth is, all your happiness and growth occurs while you’re climbing, not while you’re sitting at the top.  Enjoy the journey by paying attention to each step.  Don’t rush through your life and miss it.  Forget where everyone else is in relation to you.  This isn’t a race.  You get there a little at a time, not all at once.
Let go of the foolish need to prove yourself to everyone else, and you’ll free yourself to accomplish what matters most to you.  Sometimes you have to remind yourself that you don’t have to always be and do what everyone else is being and doing.

6.  The path to all great things passes through failure.

You are an ever-changing work in progress.  You don’t have to always be right, you just have to not be too worried about being wrong.  Screwing up is part of the process.  Looking like a fool sometimes is the only way forward.  If you try too hard to impress everyone else with your “perfection,” you will stunt your growth.  You will spend all your time looking a certain way, instead of living a certain way.
It’s impossible to live without failing sometimes, unless you live so cautiously that you aren’t really living at all – you’re merely existing.  If you’re too afraid of failing in front of others, you can’t possibly do what needs to be done to be successful in your own eyes.  You have to remember that it doesn’t matter how many times you fail or how messy your journey is, so long as you do not stop taking small steps forward.  In the end, those who don’t care that failure is inevitable are the ones that reach their dreams.  YOU can be one of them.  

7.  It’s impossible to please everyone anyway.

Some people will always tell you what you did wrong, and then hesitate to compliment you for what you did right.  Don’t be one of them, and don’t put up with them.
When you run into someone who discredits you, disrespects you and treats you poorly for no apparent reason at all, don’t consume yourself with trying to change them or win their approval.  And be sure not to leave any space in your heart to hate them.  Simply walk away and let karma deal with the things they say and do, because any bit of time you spend on these people will be wasted, and any bit of hate and aggravation in your heart will only hurt you in the end.

Chinese Bamboo Tree-story

Chinese bamboo is quite unique on its own. When this bamboo is planted, watered, and nurtured for the whole growing season, it does not outwardly develop even just for an inch. Then, on the next growing season, the farmer must continue to irrigate, fertilize and care for the bamboo tree and yet nothing happens – it fails to sprout just the same.
And as the seasons go in and out, the farmer has to continue caring for the bamboo for four consecutive years. What could really be discouraging is the farmer has nothing substantial to demonstrate for all of his labor in caring and growing the tree. Four lonely years of hard work and caring and yet you have nothing!
And then on the fifth year, you must be prepared for something so amazing and incredible!
All the hard work seems to be paid off on the fifth year because that Chinese bamboo tree seed at last grows and not just growing as we normally see with other plants. The bamboo tree shoots up to more than 80 feet all in just one growing season! Now, that is a very astonishing demonstration of the power of nature!
Now, you might be thinking: Did the small tree loll inactive for four years and then just decides to grow dramatically on the fifth? I think the answer is quite clear for us to see. The little tree was actually developing itself underground by expanding its root system to make it tough enough to sustain its impending external growth in the fifth year and even beyond.
Now, had the tree failed to build up a strong and able underground foundation, it would be impossible for it to keep on growing when it is time to sprout outside into the outside world.
This story is very much true in rearing our beautiful children. As parents, we have to patiently exert efforts in teaching and disciplining our children for them to develop right values and to adopt strong character while at the same time defeat many difficulties and different challenges.
If that Chinese bamboo farmer dug up his little bamboo seeds each year just because he is curious or wants to make sure it was growing or what, he could effectively stopped the tree’s growth. There are times when we demand our little children to sit still and behave and be patient but big lessons can be deeply taught once they are demonstrated in actions and not just in words.