To All Married Couples and Singles Who Intend To Get Married

When I got home that night as my wife served dinner, I held her hand and said, I've got something to tell you. She sat down and ate quietly. Again I observed the hurt in her eyes.

Suddenly I didn't know how to open my mouth. But I had to let her know what I was thinking. I want a divorce. I raised the topic calmly. She didn't seem to be annoyed by my words, instead she asked me softly, why? I avoided her question.

This made her angry. She threw away the chopsticks and shouted at me, you are not a man!

That night, we didn't talk to each other. She was weeping. I knew she wanted to find out what had happened to our marriage. But I could hardly give her a satisfactory answer; I had lost my heart to a lovely girl called
Dew. I didn't love her anymore. I just pitied her!

With a deep sense of guilt, I drafted a divorce agreement which stated that she could own our house, 30% shares of my company and the car. She glanced at it and then tore it into pieces. The woman who had spent ten years of her life with me had become a stranger. I felt sorry for her wasted time, resources and energy but I could not take back what I had said for I loved Dew so dearly.

Finally she cried loudly in front of me, which was what I had expected to see. To me her cry was actually a kind of release. The idea of divorce which had obsessed me for several weeks seemed to be firmer and clearer now.The next day, I came back home very late and found her writing something at the table. I didn't have supper but went straight to sleep and fell asleep very fast because I was tired after an eventful day with Dew. When I woke up, she was still there at the table writing. I just did not care so I turned over and was asleep again.

In the morning she presented her divorce conditions: she didn't want anything from me, but needed a month's notice before the divorce. She requested that in that one month we both struggle to live as normal a life as possible. Her reasons were simple: our son had his exams in a months time and she didn't want to disrupt him with our broken marriage.

This was agreeable to me. But she had something more, she asked me to recall how I had carried her into out bridal room on our wedding day.. She requested that everyday for the month's duration I carry her out of our bedroom to the front door ever morning. I thought she was going crazy.Just to make our last days together bearable I accepted her odd request.

I told Dew about my wife s divorce conditions. She laughed loudly and thought it was absurd. No matter what tricks she applies, she has to face the divorce, she said scornfully. My wife and I hadn't had any body contact since my divorce intention was explicitly expressed.

So when I carried her out on the first day, we both appeared clumsy. Our son clapped behind us, daddy is holding mummy in his arms. His words brought me a sense of pain. From the bedroom to the sitting room, then to the door, I walked over ten meters with her in my arms. She closed her eyes and said softly; don't tell our son about the divorce. I nodded, feeling somewhat upset.I put her down outside the door. She went to wait for the bus to work. I drove alone to the office.

On the second day, both of us acted much more easily. She leaned on my chest.. I could smell the fragrance of her blouse. I realized that I hadn't looked at this woman carefully for a long time. I realized she was not young any more. There were fine wrinkles on her face, her hair was graying! Our marriage had taken its toll on her. For a minute I wondered what I had done to her.

On the fourth day, when I lifted her up, I felt a sense of intimacy returning. This was the woman who had given ten years of her life to me. On the fifth and sixth day, I realized that our sense of intimacy was growing again. I didn't tell Dew about this. It became easier to carry her as the month slipped by. Perhaps the everyday workout made me stronger.

She was choosing what to wear one morning. She tried on quite a few dresses but could not find a suitable one. Then she sighed, all my dresses have grown bigger. I suddenly realized that she had grown so thin, that was the reason why I could carry her more easily. Suddenly it hit me; she had buried so much pain and bitterness in her heart.

Subconsciously I reached out and touched her head. Our son came in at the moment and said, Dad, it's time to carry mum out. To him, seeing his father carrying his mother out had become an essential part of his life. My wife gestured to our son to come closer and hugged him tightly. I turned my face away because I was afraid I might change my mind at this last minute. I then held her in my arms, walking from the bedroom, through the sitting room, to the hallway. Her hand surrounded my neck softly and naturally. I held her body tightly; it was just like our wedding day.

But her much lighter weight made me sad. On the last day, when I held her in my arms I could hardly move a step. Our son had gone to school. I held her tightly and said, I hadn't noticed that our life lacked intimacy. I drove to office… jumped out of the car swiftly without locking the door. I was afraid any delay would make me change my mind… I walked upstairs. Dew opened the door and I said to her,Sorry, Dew, I do not want the divorce anymore.

She looked at me, astonished. Then touched my forehead. Do you have a fever? She said. I moved her hand off my head. Sorry, Dew, I said, I won't divorce.. My marriage life was boring probably because she and I didn't value the details of our lives, not because we didn't love each other any more.. Now I realize that since I carried her into my home on our wedding day I am supposed to hold her until death does us apart.

Dew seemed to suddenly wake up. She gave me a loud slap and then slammed the door and burst into tears. I walked downstairs and drove away. At the floral shop on the way, I ordered a bouquet of flowers for my wife. The salesgirl asked me what to write on the card. I smiled and wrote 'I'll carry you out every morning until death do us apart'

The small details of our lives are what really matter in a relationship. It is not the mansion, the car, the property, the bank balance that matters. These create an environment conducive for happiness but cannot give happiness in themselves. So find time to be your spouse's friend and do those little things for
each other that build intimacy. Do have a real happy marriage!

Relationships are made not to exploit, not to be broken. We teach some by what we say We teach some more by what we do but we teach most by what we are.

You don't get to choose how you are going to die, or when, but, you can decide how you are going to live, here and now.

Carpe Diem! (WORTH A SECOND READING)

Carpe Diem!

To:

I have a relative who delayed giving time to his Ma - whom he loved dearly - until it was too late, with lame excuses.  I genuinely do not know whether he regrets it but I think we all need to retrospect.  It applies to friends too.  These Course get-togethers are a case in point.  take time off or the time may never come for you!TC, I do.

Too many people put off something that brings them joy just because they haven't thought about it,don't have it on their schedule, didn't know it was coming or are too rigid to depart from their routine.

I got to thinking one day about all those women on the Titanic who passed up dessert at dinner that fateful night in an effort to cut back.


How many women out there will eat at home because their husband didn't suggest going out to dinner until after something had been thawed? Does the word refrigeration mean nothing to you? 
How often have your kids dropped in to talk and sat in silence while you watched Jeopardy on television? 
I cannot count the times I called my sister and said,How about going to lunch in a half hour? She would gas up and stammer, I can't. I have clothes on the line. My hair is dirty. I wish I had known yesterday, I had a late breakfast, It looks like rain. And my personal favorite: It's Monday.She died a few years ago. We never did have lunch together.


Because we cram so much into our lives, we tend to schedule our headaches. We live on a sparse diet of promises we make to ourselves when all the conditions are perfect!We'll go back and visit the grandparents when we get Steve toilet-trained. We'll entertain when we replace the living-room carpet. We'll go on a second honeymoon when we get two more kids out of college.

Life has a way of accelerating as we get older. The days get shorter, and the list of promises to ourselves gets longer.One morning, we awaken, and all we have to show for our lives is a litany of I am going to,I plan on,and Someday, when things are settled down a bit.

When anyone calls my seize the moment friend, she is open to adventure and available for trips. She keeps an open mind on new ideas. Her enthusiasm for life is contagious. You talk with her for five minutes, and youre ready to trade your bad feet for a pair of
 Roller blades and skip an elevator for a bungee cord.


My lips have not touched ice cream in 10 years. I love ice cream. It's just that I might as well apply it directly to my stomach with a spatula and eliminate the digestive process. The other day, I stopped the car and bought a triple-decker. If my car had hit an iceberg on the way home, I would have died happy.

Now...go on and have a nice day. Do something you WANT to . . . not something on your SHOULD DO list. If you were going to die soon and had only one phone call you could make, who would you call and what would you say? And why are you waiting?

Have you ever watched kids playing on a merry go round or listened to the rain lapping on the ground? Ever followed a butterfly's erratic flight or gazed at the sun into the fading night? Do you run through each day on the fly? When you ask How are you?Do you hear the reply?


When the day is done, do you lie in your bed with the next hundred chores running through your head? Ever told your child,do it tomorrow.And in your haste, not see his sorrow? Ever lost touch? Let a good friendship die? Just call to say Hi?


When you worry and hurry through your day, it is like an unopened gift. Thrown away . . . . Life is not a race . . . Take it slower. Hear the music before the song is over.


45 lessons life taught me

Written By Regina Brett, 90 years old, of The Plain Dealer, Cleveland , Ohio celebrate growing older, I once wrote the 45 lessons life taught me.It is the most-requested column I've ever written.

My odometer rolled over to 90 in August, so here is the column once more:

1. Life isn't fair, but it's still good.

2. When in doubt, just take the next small step.

3. Life is too short to waste time hating anyone.

4.Your job won't take care of you when you are sick. Your friends and
parents will. Stay in touch.

5.Pay off your credit cards every month.

6. You don't have to win every argument. Agree to disagree.

7. Cry with someone. It's more healing than crying alone.

8. It's OK to get angry with God. He can take it.

9. Save for retirement starting with your first paycheck.

10. When it comes to chocolate, resistance is futile.

11. Make peace with your past so it won't screw up the present.

12.It's OK to let your children see you cry.

13.Don't compare your life to others. You have no idea what their
journey is all about.

14.If a relationship has to be a secret, you shouldn't be in it.

15.Everything can change in the blink of an eye. But don't worry; God
never blinks.

16.Take a deep breath. It calms the mind.

17.Get rid of anything that isn't useful, beautiful or joyful.

18. Whatever doesn't kill you really does make you stronger.

19. It's never too late to have a happy childhood. But the second one
is up to you and no one else

20.When it comes to going after what you love in life, don't take no
for an answer.

21.Burn the candles, use the nice sheets, wear the fancy lingerie.
Don't save it for a special occasion. Today is special.

22.Over prepare, then go with the flow.

23.Be eccentric now. Don't wait for old age to wear purple.

24. The most important sex organ is the brain.

25. No one is in charge of your happiness but you.

26. Frame every so-called disaster with these words;In five years,
will this matter?

27.Always choose life.

28.Forgive everyone everything.

29.What other people think of you is none of your business.

30.Time heals almost everything. Give time time.

31.However good or bad a situation is, it will change.

32.Don't take yourself so seriously. No one else does.

33.Believe in miracles.

34.God loves you because of who God is, not because of anything you
did or didn't do.

35. Don't audit life. Show up and make the most of it now.

36. Growing old beats the alternative -- dying young.

37. Your children get only one childhood.

38. All that truly matters in the end is that you loved.

39.Get outside every day. Miracles are waiting everywhere.

40. If we all threw our problems in a pile and saw everyone else's,
we'd grab ours back.

41.Envy is a waste of time. You already have all you need.

42.The best is yet to come.

43. No matter how you feel, get up, dress up and show up.

44. Yield.

45. Life isn't tied with a bow, but it's still a gift.

A holy man was having a conversation with God one day and said,God
, I would like to know what Heaven and Hell are like.

God led the holy man to two doors.He opened one of the doors and the
holy man looked in.

In the middle of the room was a large round table. In the middle of
the table was a large pot of stew, which smelled delicious and made
the holy man's mouth water.

The people sitting around the table were thin and sickly. They
appeared to be famished.

They were holding spoons with very long handles, that were strapped to
their arms and each found it possible to reach into the pot of stew
and take a spoonful.

But because the handle was longer than their arms, they could not get
the spoons back into their mouths.

The holy man shuddered at the sight of their misery and suffering. God
said,You have seen Hell.

They went to the next room and opened the door. It was exactly the
same as the first one.

There was the large round table with the large pot of stew which made
the holy man's mouth water.

The people were equipped with the same long-handled spoons, but here the people were well nourished and plump, laughing and talking. The holy man said,I don't understand.

It is simple,said God .It requires but one skill.You see they have learned to feed each other, while the greedy think only of
themselves.

Friends are the family that we choose for ourselves

The Bible & The Diamond Ring...What A Beautiful Story

A married lady was expecting a birthday gift from her husband.

For many months she had admired a beautiful diamond ring in a showroom,
and knowing her husband could afford it, she told him that was all she wanted.
As her birthday approached, this lady awaited signs that her husband
had purchased the diamond ring.

Finally, on the morning of her birthday, her husband called her into his study.
Her husband told her how proud he was to have such a good wife, and told her how much he loved her.

He handed her a beautiful wrapped gift box.

Curious, the wife opened the box and found a lovely, leather-bound Bible, with the wife's name embossed in gold.
Angrily, she raised her voice to her husband and said, 'With all your
money you give me a Bible?' And stormed out of the house, leaving her husband.

Many years passed and the lady was very successful in business. She managed to settle for a more beautiful house and a wonderful family, but realized her ex-husband was very old, and thought perhaps she should go to visit him. She had not seen him for many years.

But before she could make arrangements, she received a telegram telling her that her ex-husband had passed away, and willed all of his possessions to her. She needed to come back immediately and take care of things.

When she arrived at her ex-husband's house, sudden sadness and regret filled her heart. She began to search through her ex-husband's important papers and saw the still new Bible, just as she had left it years before.

With tears, she opened the Bible and began to turn the pages. Her
ex-husband had carefully underlined a verse,

Matt 7:11,
'And if you, being evil, know how to give good gifts to your children,
how much more shall your Heavenly Father, who is in heaven,
give what is good to those who ask Him?'

As she read those words, a tiny package dropped from the back of
the Bible. It had a diamond ring, with her name engraved on it --
the same diamond ring which she saw at the showroom.
On the tag was the date of her birth, and the words. 'LUV U ALWAYS'.

How many times do we miss God's blessings, because they are not
packaged as we expected? I trust you enjoyed this.

Do not spoil what you have, by desiring what you have not; but remember that what you now have was once among the things you only hoped for.


IF YOUR GIFT IS NOT PACKAGED THE WAY YOU WANT IT,
IT'S BECAUSE IT IS BETTER PACKAGED THE WAY IT IS.
ALWAYS APPRECIATE LITTLE THINGS, THEY USUALLY LEAD YOU TO BIGGER & BETTER THINGS.

The happiest people don't necessarily have the best of everything

An Inspirational Hospital Story

It was a busy morning, about 8:30, when an elderly gentleman in his 80s arrived to have stitches removed from his thumb. He said he was in a hurry as he had an appointment at 9:00 am.

I took his vital signs and had him take a seat, knowing it would be over an hour before someone would to able to see him.. I saw him looking at his watch and decided, since I was not busy with another patient, I would evaluate his wound.
On exam, it was well healed, so I talked to one of the doctors, got the needed supplies to remove his sutures and redress his wound.

While taking care of his wound, I asked him if he had another doctor appointment this morning, as he was in such a hurry.

"The gentleman told me no, that he needed to go to the nursing home to eat breakfast with his wife. I inquired as to her health.

He told me that she had been there for a while and that she was a victim of Alzheimer. As we talked, I asked if she would be upset if he was a bit late.

He replied that she no longer knew who he was, that she had not recognized him in five years now.I was surprised, and asked him,And you still go every morning, even though she doesn't know who you are? She doesn't know me,but I still know who she is.I had to hold back tears as he left, I had goose bumps on my arm, and thought,
That is the kind of love I want in my life.

True love is neither physical,nor romantic.True love is an acceptance of all that is, has been, will be, and will not be.The happiest people don't necessarily have the best of everything; they just make the best of everything they have.

Life isn't about how to survive the storm,but how to dance in the rain.

Whom to blame?

A Boy was born to a couple after eleven years of marriage. They were a loving couple and the boy was the gem of their eyes. When the boy was around two years old, one morning the husband saw a medicine bottle open.

He was late for office so he asked his wife to cap the bottle and keep it in the cupboard. His wife, preoccupied in the kitchen totally forgot the matter.

The boy saw the bottle and playfully went to the bottle fascinated by its colour and drank it all. It happened to be a poisonous medicine meant for adults in small dosages. When the child collapsed the mother hurried him to the hospital, where he died. The mother was stunned. She was terrified how to face her husband.

When the distraught father came to the hospital and saw the dead child he looked at his wife and uttered just five words.

1.What were the five words?
2. What is the implication of this story?

The husband just said, I am with you Darling.The husbands totally unexpected reaction is a proactive behavior. The child is dead. He can never be brought back to life. There is no point in finding fault with the mother. Besides, if only he had taken time to keep the bottle away, this would not have happened.

No one is to be blamed. She had also lost her only child. What she needed at that moment was consolation and sympathy from the husband. That is what he gave her.

If everyone can look at life with this kind of perspective, there would be much fewer problems in the world.A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step.Take off all your envies, jealousies, unforgiven, selfishness, and fears. And you will find things are actually not as difficult as you think.

MORAL OF THE STORY:Sometimes we spend time in asking who is responsible or whom to blame, whether in a relationship, in a job or with the people we know. By this way we miss out some warmth in human relationship.

So No to Stress-- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Stress is to your emotional health as junk food is to your physical health. You need a certain amount of food to sustain your life, but overeating and eating the wrong foods are unhealthy and sometimes dangerous.

As you need food to live, you also need a certain amount of emotional stimulation, but unless you choose to live alone far from the reaches of civilization, you are bombarded daily with innumerable stressors (agents, conditions, or other stimuli that cause stress). You hear the daily woes of friends and family. Your job and your daily commute are filled with agitation. Just a few minutes of the 11 o'clock news provides far more than your daily requirement of emotional stimulation.

What to do?

1. Simplify your needs: Much of our stress is due to what we believe we need to have. Actually, we need very little - food, a roof over our head, companionship. The rest is all perceived need that causes stress. As a crazy, but everyday example, we get stressed that we don't have the money to finance a relaxing vacation trip. Suppose we just relaxed every day knowing that we don't need luxuries.

2. Simplify your obligations: Practice saying "NO." No, I won't babysit your parakeet. No, I won't work a double shift Sunday. No, I won't chair the fundraising drive. There is actually almost nothing that you must do. Everything in life is a choice. Break the habit of assuming that you need to do everything you are asked to do.

3. Ask yourself what is the worst that can happen: Usually the worst isn't really so bad. For example, the worst your boss can ever do is to fire you, and if you hate your job, that would be a blessing in disguise.

4. Don't be demanding: You ask someone to do something, they don't do it, and you get upset - raising your stress level. Suppose you asked less of other people? Your stress level would go way down. For example, you want your teenagers to keep their rooms tidy. For them, a structured living space is not a priority. Ask yourself whether exerting your control is worth the high stress level that it causes you.

5. Mentally, prepare for failures: Your boss WILL be critical of your work. Your cell phone and computer WILL fail. The stock market WILL drop. There WILL be another terrorist attack or war. It is just life. If you are mentally prepared, you won't be surprised or get stressed when the inevitable happens.

6. Mind your own business: Many of us get upset - and stressed - over the actions of others that are really none of our business. The lifestyle of others is NOT our business. Whether your adult son or daughter has a job, whether they married the "wrong" partner, whether your neighbor recycles, whether the man down the street watches adult movies or his wife is having an affair - these are NOT our business. Know that there is no single way that life is "supposed" to be. Demanding that life meet our expectations is a sure fire recipe for a miserable existence. Life is a game with no rules. Have NO Expectations of life. Stay in your own business and lower your stress.

7. Be grateful for what you have: Each of us has been infinitely blessed - beginning with the gift of life. Whatever may appear to be missing or broken on any particular day, our glass is not half full, it is 99.9% full. More practically, when we feel ungrateful, we become unhappy and stressed. When we choose to feel and express our gratitude, the act of feeling and speaking our thanks creates a happiness within us. The more we express our gratitude, the more we have for which to be grateful.

8. Make YOU your top priority: Your ONLY responsibility in life is to your own happiness. Lower your stress and raise your joy by focusing on yourself. Today and every day, take time to celebrate your life - whether an hour's meditation in a quiet natural space, or a brief moment's conscious pause to breathe deeply and celebrate gratitude for your life.

7 Attributes of the Truly Confident Person - By Elaine Sihera

A lot of people might believe they are confident, depending on how they feel on any given day. But confidence is not a fleeting thing that is here today and takes a holiday tomorrow. Confidence is all pervasive. It shows itself in every aspect of our lives: the way we view ourselves, perceive our world, approach crises, the way we treat others, our readiness to exercise compassion and forgiveness, and, most important, the way we treat ourselves.

True confidence is an incredible feeling because it has a few key attributes embedded in it, seven of them, in fact, which are the hallmarks of the truly confident person. You cannot say you are confident unless you score highly on each of those seven aspects.

1. Self Love
This is the first crucial attribute. If you have no self-love, you have no confidence because this is at the heart of confidence: self-love and self-acceptance, which then decide our self-esteem. It is not possible to be happy and confident yet dislike our bodies or ourselves. Any lack of self-love is a prelude to misery and dissatisfaction with our lot. Happiness begins from within and when we love ourselves and do not seek the approval of anyone, we are half-way to real contentment and the next key attribute, self-belief.

2. Self-Belief
With self-love comes amazing self-belief in what is truly possible. The Universe is our limit, as we become unstoppable and fearless. People who think highly of themselves do not see barriers to achievements or obstacles in their paths. Anything which blocks their journey can be removed because confident people already believe they have the tools to remove those blocks. They can cope with crises too because they believe they can. That is the main difference between a confident and a fearful person: one believes they have the power to affect their life, whereas the other person looks to others to do it for them.

3. Comfort in Themselves
Confident people are happy in their own skin. They love who they are, they do not wish to be anyone else and they seek no one's approval to be whom they wish to be. That is a sure sign of a strong sense of belonging and personal security. Even when there is a setback, they know it is only temporary and they will be back in action again because they value themselves and their talents, regardless of what other people think. They tend to do what they please without following the fashion or being lemmings. Being natural leaders, they tend to set the pace for others and to inspire them.

4. Self-Awareness
Confident people know their limitations and their potential. That is because they do not sit and dwell on their weaknesses, like people of low esteem. They identify their strengths and nurture them while acknowledging their weaknesses as important to their personality. They are fully aware that the unique beings they are is the result of BOTH their strengths and weaknesses, so they do not dwell on the negative aspects of their personality. They know what makes them happy and sad. Being leaders and optimists, they are more assured in their direction and objectives because they understand who they are and what they want, which is the first key step to boosting achievement and personal development.

5. Fearlessness
Confident people tend to be pioneers, fearless in their approach and their actions. It is not that they do not have the usual fears of survival. What they don't have is the limiting and paralyzing fears regarding simply living their life to the utmost which plague insecure and non-confident people. Those with high self-esteem are keen to get on with it so they tend to act first and be afraid later! Willing to take risks and to make sacrifices, they have very little fear in living their life to the max.

6. Experiment
Really confident people love to experiment, to try out new situations, innovate and create, They are always pushing the boundaries of their talents because of their self-belief. Unlike people of low esteem, confident ones do not care about making mistakes, because they know that's how they learn and grow. They are not worried about being wrong, but at arriving at a solution or a different result, no matter how many times they have to change their approach. They recognize that mistakes are part and parcel of success on their personal journey. Failure is not in their vocabulary and so they will achieve their desires no matter how long it takes, because they have the tenacity, self-belief and determination to keep trying even when many others have given up.

7. Happiness
Confident people are truly happy with their life. It doesn't mean they are never sad. It means that if they are down it lasts very briefly and then they are back up again. They know they can always do something else and change the result. People of low esteem always blame themselves and reinforce that with even poorer thoughts of their abilities, so they stay in the doldrums much longer. They are not truly at peace so they take the knocks badly. Confident people know that setbacks are temporary and all they need to do is brush themselves off and start over again, while keeping their eye on their goals. Above all, being contented with themselves and their bodies, confident people tend to be truly happy, approachable, often cheerful and with a ready smile.

Take time 2 smell the roses.........

An interesting reflection : Slow Down Culture
Working for a Swedish company, Volvo for 18 years has proven to be an interesting experience. Any project here takes 2 years to be finalized, even if the idea is simple and brilliant. It's a rule.
Globalized processes have caused in us (all over the world) a general sense of searching for immediate results. Therefore, we have come to possess a need to see immediate results. This contrasts greatly with the slow movements of the Swedish. They, on the other hand, debate, debate, debate, hold x quantity of meetings and work with a slowdown scheme. At the end, this always yields better results.
Said in another words:
1.	Sweden is about the size of San Pablo, a state in Brazil.
2.	Sweden has 2 million inhabitants.
3.	Stockholm has 500,000 people.
4.	Volvo, Scania, Ericsson, Electrolux are some of its renowned companies.
Volvo supplies the NASA.
The first time I was in Sweden, one of my colleagues picked me up at the hotel every morning. It was September, bit cold and snowy. We would arrive early at the company and he would park far away from the entrance (2000 employees drive their car to work). The first day, I didn't say anything, either the second or third. One morning I asked, "Do you have a fixed parking space? I've noticed we park far from the entrance even when there are no other cars in the lot." To which he replied, "Since we're here early we'll have time to walk, and whoever gets in late will be late and need a place closer to the door. Don't you think? Imagine my face...
Nowadays, there's a movement in Europe named 'Slow Food'. This movement establishes that people should eat and drink slowly, with enough time to taste their food, spend time with family and friends, without rushing. Slow Food is against its counterpart: the spirit of Fast Food and what it stands for as a lifestyle. Slow Food is the basis for a bigger movement called Slow Europe, as mentioned by Business Week.
Basically, the movement questions the sense of "hurry" and "craziness" generated by globalization, fueled by the desire of "having in quantity" (life status) versus "having with quality", "life quality" or the "quality of being". French people, even though they work 35 hours per week, are more productive than Americans or British. Germans have established 28.8 hour workweeks and have seen their productivity been driven up by 20%. This slow attitude has brought forth the US's attention, pupils of the fast and the "do it now!"
This no-rush attitude doesn't represent doing less or having a lower productivity. It means working and doing things with greater quality, productivity, perfection, with attention to detail and less stress. It means reestablishing family values, friends, free and leisure time. Taking the "now", present and concrete, versus the "global", undefined and anonymous. It means taking humans' essential values, the simplicity of living.
It stands for a less coercive work environment, more happy, lighter and more productive where humans enjoy doing what they know best how to do. It's time to stop and think on how companies need to develop serious quality with no-rush that will increase productivity and the quality of products and services, without losing the essence of spirit.
In the movie, Scent of a Woman, there's a scene where Al Pacino asks a girl to dance and she replies, "I can't, my boyfriend will be here any minute now". To which Pacino responds, "A life is lived in an instant". Then they dance to a tango.
Many of us live our lives running behind time, but we only reach it when we die of a heart attack or in a car accident while rushing to be on time. Others are so anxious of living the future that they forget to live the present, which is the only time that truly exists. We all have equal time throughout the world. No one has more or less. The difference lies in how each one of us does with our time. We need to live each moment. As John Lennon said, "Life is what happens to you while you're busy making other plans".
Congratulations for reading till the end of this message. There are many who will have stopped in the middle so as not to waste time in this globalized world.

 

How to Keep a Positive Attitude and Stay Positive Around Negative People by Jonathan Lockwood Huie

You think of yourself as a basically happy person. You try to make an effort to stay positive. But the people you work with are so negative. Or, the people in your family are so negative. Now what? How can you keep your positive attitude even when surrounded by all that negativity?
Try some of the following tips for staying positive even when surrounded by people who have a negative outlook on life. Some of these tips are ideas for reducing the negativity while other tips help you to calmly accept your circumstances. The suggestions include both concrete actions you can take, and ways you can change your attitude to accommodate your environment.
1. First attempt to understand what you are really up against. Observe, as dispassionately as possible, what is actually happening, and examine the interpretation you are placing on what you see. What are the words, the actions, the tone of voice, the facial expressions? What emotions do you sense behind the words and actions? Are you sure? While negative words and actions are always unpleasant to be around, it is helpful to distinguish among those cases in which someone has simply fallen into the bad habit of negative talk, times when they have brought a past upset into the present, and the most difficult moments when they are actively hostile to the current situation.
2. Assume the best about the intentions of those around you. Unless you have facts to prove otherwise, assume that the negative talk is simply the bad habit of complaining.
3. Don't take it personally. Even when negative talk is directed toward you, don't take it personally. Negativity is basically selfishness, and their selfishness is about them, not about you. Yes, this is very difficult to put into practice. When you are the target of the other person's complaints, and especially their sarcasm, it is very hard not to take it personally. Try, however, to remain objective and assess whether their is any rational basis for the criticism. When the criticism is unfounded, know that the other person is simply venting their own pent up hostility in your direction, and don't take it personally.
4. Have compassion for negative people. While it is unpleasant to be around negative people, it is far more unpleasant to be an negative person. Each of these people is highly troubled. They perceive themselves as victims of hostile life forces beyond their control. They feel helpless and afraid. The most belligerent of them are the most fearful, paranoid actually, despite their outward bluster. Anger is always an expression of fear and perceived vulnerability.
5. If it is compatible with your belief systems, hold a White Light of peace around each person who troubles you, or say a silent prayer for them. Perhaps light a candle for their spirit. Intend that they find their own happiness. Do this as an act of compassion and generosity, and not as an attempt to alter their behavior for your own benefit.
6. Forgive them. Forgive them for everything they have ever done that has been difficult for you. Then forgive them again and again for each new bit of gossip, sarcasm, or anger.
7. Have gratitude for what is positive. No person or situation is 100% negative. Have gratitude for everything that is positive. Make a list of everything that is positive about the person or situation. Keep writing until you have compiled a meaningful list. Then give thanks for all that is positive.
8. Consider how you can cheer up the negative person. Can you compliment a co-worker on a task well done? Even give them a note of appreciation or a gold star? Inquire about their family? Be supportive of their troubles without either agreeing or offering suggestions? However, if your attempts to befriend someone create more hostility, Stop. You tried, and there is no point in doing anything to annoy them further.
9. If all your attempts to create an uplifting connection with the negative person fail, establish your own boundaries and create your own happiness within your own personal space. Visualize yourself encased in an invisible protective "egg" that surrounds your body and enhances the positive while keeping the negative elements out. Create your own private world of joy. Be clear that while this approach works well when applied with co-workers, a job, extended family, or others you interact with occasionally, it is no way to live your whole life.
10. Balance the negative aspects of your life with more powerful positive aspects. If your job is filled with negative influences, it is all the more important that your family life be positive. If your extended family is negative, it is crucial that your intimate relationship be positive. If your relationship with your spouse is negative, seek to have every other influence in your life be exceedingly positive. Seek out new positive opportunities. Cultivate friends with positive attitudes. Join groups that are populated by very positive people.
11. Remember that you can choose to end any relationship. You can choose to quit your job, get a divorce, resign from the community group or church, distance yourself from negative friends or extended family, even minimize contact with parents or grown children. Of course there are consequences, but you always do have a choice. You can make the trade-off of costs and benefits and make your own decision. Seriously consider ending any job or other relationship which is harming your physical or emotional health. Any alternative is better than being sick and miserable. If you do decide to keep yourself in an unpleasant situation, remember that each day you again have the option to remove yourself if you choose. Let the knowledge that you always have a choice empower you to meet one more day in a negative situation by radiating, and basking in, your own positive energy.

A Story of Money

The following story appears anonymously on a number of web sites and blogs. For me, it says what there is to say about money.

The American businessman was at the pier of a small coastal Mexican village when a small boat with just one fisherman docked. Inside the small boat were several large yellow fin tuna.

The American complimented the Mexican on the quality of his fish and asked how long it took to catch them. The Mexican replied "only a little while". The American then asked why didn't he stay out longer and catch more fish?

The Mexican said he had enough to support his family's immediate needs. The American then asked, "but what do you do with the rest of your time?" The Mexican fisherman said, "I sleep late, fish a little, play with my children, take siesta with my wife, stroll into the village each evening where I sip wine and play guitar with my amigos, I have a full and busy life, senor."

The American scoffed, "I am a Harvard MBA and could help you. You should spend more time fishing and with the proceeds buy a bigger boat with the proceeds from the bigger boat you could buy several boats, eventually you would have a fleet of fishing boats. Instead of selling your catch to a middleman you would sell directly to the processor, eventually opening your own cannery. You would control the product, processing and distribution. You would need to leave this small coastal fishing village and move to Mexico City, then LA and eventually NYC where you will run your expanding enterprise."

The Mexican fisherman asked, "But senor, how long will this all take?"
To which the American replied, "15-20 years."

"But what then, senor?" The American laughed and said that's the best part. When the time is right you would announce an IPO and sell your company stock to the public and become very rich, you would make millions.

"Millions, senor? Then what?"

The American said, "Then you would retire. Move to a small coastal fishing village where you would sleep late, fish a little, play with your kids, take siesta with your wife, stroll to the village in the evenings where you could sip wine and play your guitar."

Where there is love,Nothing is Missing

The businessman looked around the vacation villa in Puerto Vallarta.  Plain, but clean and well furnished.  A good place to grab a few days away from his failing business and troubled marriage.  He had brought a large supply of sleeping pills and had requested several bottles of Tequila to be brought to his room.  Perhaps he could at least drown a few of his worries.

 He watched as the housekeeper stocked the villa's kitchen - frozen dinners, some dry cereal, and thankfully, four large bottles of liquor - they had paid careful attention to his unusual requests.  The frozen dinners would be easy - he could focus on his lonely drinking, and lose himself.

Jim noticed the housekeeper's slow movements, the stoop in her shoulders, the stubby yellowed teeth.  It was somehow comforting to see that other people could be even worse off than he was.  Even with his company troubles and impending divorce, Jim was sure he could always find the money to keep his teeth whitened and in good repair - even find the money for the hair transplant he had promised himself.  He shivered a little, just thinking about those teeth.

The woman shuffled over to him.  "Senor, you not look happy.  TV dinner not good.  I am Maria, I cook.  I bring you real food."

 "OK, OK."  Jim didn't want to talk with anyone, and certainly not with this woman.  Besides, a taco might be better than microwave food - if it showed up on his table.

The bustling in the kitchen brought Jim out of the depths of his hangover.  It hadn't been a really big night - less than a whole bottle of booze, and none of the sleeping pills - he might want to take those all at once.  Still, he felt really lousy, and resented the intrusion.  The bedside clock showed 12:30 as Maria opened the curtains and sunlight poured in.

The enticing smells of spicy meat and corn filled the villa.  Maria stood over him, offering a plate of tamales.  "Senor, eat.  You feel better."

Jim reached for one, took a hesitant bite, and relaxed a little.  Before he knew it, the heaping plate was almost empty.

Maria moved the nearly empty plate to the kitchen counter.  "You were hungry.  Get a nice hot bath.  I come back," and she moved toward the door.

"How much do I owe you," Jim called out, remembering her apparent poverty.
 "Nothing.  My gift.  You were hungry," and she was gone.

The next afternoon, Chiles Rellenos appeared.  Jim had drunk less the second night, and was even more appreciative of the good food.  Again, Maria would not accept payment.  "I have money.  You must need money, please take it," Jim almost pleaded.

Maria replied, "I am rich.  Please come to my home tonight.  I will show you.  I come back at seven."

At exactly 7 PM, there was a knock on the door.  Jim followed Maria into the warm twilight.  They walked silently through the tourist area, then turned sharply down an alley.  They emerged into a neighborhood of partially finished stucco dwellings.  Iron reinforcing rods spiked the tops of the unfinished verticals.  Plastic sheeting substituted for glass in the unfinished windows.  Maria led Jim to one of the unfinished stairways and began to climb.

Opening a door on the fourth floor, Maria smiled at Jim and beckoned him to enter.  The walls and floor were bare except for small rugs and weavings that combined bright reds, oranges, and yellows.  A small sofa and a few chairs lined the walls, one of which honored an oversized Madonna-with-child picture featuring a dark-skinned Mary.  The small room was dominated by a long plank table covered with food and surrounded by a dozen happy-looking eaters of all shapes and ages - newborns to nineties.  The delicious smells welcomed Jim.

Near tears, Jim turned to Maria to thank her, but words didn't form.

Leading Jim to the table, Maria introduced him to her family, saying, "I am rich.  I have my family.  Where there is love, nothing is missing.  My family is now your family."

Discovering True Fear Spiritual Story by Paulo Coelho

A sultan decided to travel by sea with some of his favorite courtiers. They joined the ship in Dubai and sailed out into the open sea.

However, as soon as the ship moved away from land, one of his subjects - who had never seen the sea before, having spent most of his life in the mountains - began to be overcome with panic.

Sitting in the ships hold, he cried, shouted and refused to eat or sleep. Everyone tried to calm him down, saying that the journey wasnt as dangerous as all that, but although he heard their words, they had no influence on his heart. The sultan did not know what to do, and the fine journey upon calm seas and under blue skies, became a torment for the passengers and crew alike.

Two days passed without anyone being able to sleep because of the mans cries. The sultan was about to order the ship to return to port, when one of his ministers, who was known for his wisdom, came over:

"Your Highness, with your permission, I will be able to calm him."

Without a moments hesitation, the sultan said that not only would he allow it, but that he should reward him if he succeeded in solving the problem.

The wise man asked that the man be thrown into the sea. Right away, content because their nightmare was about to end, several crew members grabbed the man struggling in the hold, and cast him into the ocean.

The courtier thrashed about, sank, swallowed plenty of seawater, returned to the surface, screamed louder than ever, sank again, and managed to surface once again. Just then, the minister ordered for him to dragged back on board.

From then on, no one heard so much as a single complaint from the man, who spent the rest of the journey in silence, and even commented to one of the passengers that he had never seen anything so beautiful as the sky and sea touching on the horizon. The journey - which had before been a torment to all those on board the ship - became a pleasurable, peaceful experience.

A short time before they returned to port, the Sultan went to see the minister:

"How did you guess that, by throwing that poor man into the sea, he would calm down?"

"Because of my marriage," replied the minister. "I was always terrified of losing my wife, and was so jealous that I never stopped shouting and screaming like that man.

One day she could take no more, and left me - and I tasted the terrible experience of living without her. She only returned when I promised never again to torment her with my fears.

In the same way, that man had never tasted salt water, and had never known the agony of a drowning man. When he felt that, he understood only too well how marvelous it can be to feel the planks of a ship under his feet."

www.Spiritual-Short-Stories.com readers can enjoy more spiritual stories!

The Brick - Anonymous

Variations of this story have been around a long time.

As a young and successful executive was traveling down a neighborhood street, going a bit too fast in his new Jaguar, a brick smashed into the Jag's side door. The angry driver slammed on the brakes and backed the Jag back to the spot where the brick had been thrown. He jumped out of the car, grabbed the nearest kid and pushed him up against a parked car shouting, "What was that all about and who are you? Just what the heck are you doing? That's a new car and that brick you threw is going to cost a lot of money. Why did you do it?"
The young boy was apologetic. "Please, mister ... please, I'm sorry but I didn't know what else to do. I threw the brick because no one else would stop..." With tears dripping down his face and off his chin, the youth pointed to a spot just around a parked car. "It's my brother,' he said. "He rolled off the curb and fell out of his wheelchair and I can't lift him up."
Now sobbing, the boy asked the stunned executive, "Would you please help me get him back into his wheelchair? He's hurt and he's too heavy for me."
Moved beyond words, the driver tried to swallow the rapidly swelling lump in his throat. He hurriedly lifted the handicapped boy back into the wheelchair, then took out a linen handkerchief and dabbed at the fresh scrapes and cuts. A quick look told him everything was going to be okay.
"Thank you and may God bless you," the grateful child told the stranger.
Too shook up for words, the man simply watched the boy push his wheelchair-bound brother down the sidewalk toward their home.

Don't go through life so fast that someone has to throw a brick at you to get your attention.

Think before you speak

Once upon a time an old man spread rumours that his  neighbour was a thief. As a result, the young man was arrested. Days later the  young man was proven innocent. After been released he sued the old man for  wrongly accusing him.

In court the old man told the Judge: 'They were just  comments, didn't harm anyone.'
 
The judge, before passing sentence on the case, told  the old man: 'Write all the things you said about him on a piece of paper. Cut  them up and on the way home, throw the pieces of paper out. Tomorrow, come  back to hear the sentence.'
 
The next day, the judge told the old man: 'Before  receiving the sentence, you will have to go out and gather all the pieces of  paper that you threw out yesterday.'
 
The old man said: 'I can't do that! The wind spread  them and I won't know where to find them.'
 
The judge then replied: 'The same  way, simple comments may destroy the honour of a man to such an extent that  one is not able to fix it.

If you can't  speak well of someone, rather don't say anything.
Let's all be masters of our mouths,  so that we won't be slaves of our words.

Things Aren't always as They Seem

Two traveling angels stopped to spend the night in the home of a  wealthy family. The family was rude and refused to let the angels stay in the
mansion's guest room. Instead the angels were given a small space in the cold basement. As they made their bed on the hard floor, the older
angel saw a hole in the wall and repaired it. When the younger angel asked why, the older angel replied,"Things aren't always what they seem.

The next night the pair came to rest at the house of a very poor, but very hospitable farmer and his wife. After sharing what little food they had
the couple let the angels sleep in their bed where they could have a good night's rest.

When the sun came up the next morning the angels found the farmer and his  wife in tears.
Their only cow, whose milk had been their sole income, lay dead in the field. The younger angel was infuriated and asked the older angel how could you have let this happen  The first man had everything, yet you helped him. she accused. The second family had little but was willing to share everything, and you let the cow die. Things aren't always what they seem", the older angel replied.
When we stayed in the basement of the mansion, I noticed there was gold stored in that hole in the wall

Since the owner was so obsessed with greed and unwilling to share his good fortune, I sealed the wall so he wouldn't find it. He continued, Then last
night as we slept in the farmers bed, the angel of death came for his wife. I gave him the cow instead. "Things aren't always what they seem.

Sometimes that is exactly what happens when things don't turn out the way they should. If you have faith, you just need to trust that every
outcome is always to your advantage.

You might not know it until some time later...

A Chat with God

Hello… Did you call me?

Me: Called you? No… Who is this?

God:This is GOD.I heard your prayers. So I thought I will chat.

Me: I do pray. Just makes me feel good. I am actually busy now. I am in the midst of something…

What are you busy at? Ants are busy too.

Me: Don't know. But I can't find free time. Life has become hectic. It's rush hour all the time.

God:Sure. Activity gets you busy. But productivity gets you results.
Activity consumes time. Productivity frees it.

Me: I understand. But I still can't figure it out. By the way, I was not expecting YOU to buzz me on instant messaging chat.

God:Well I wanted to resolve your fight for time, by giving you some clarity. In this net era, I wanted to reach you through the medium you are comfortable with.

Me: Tell me, why has life become complicated now?

God:Stop analyzing life. Just live it. Analysis is what makes it complicated.

Me: why are we then constantly unhappy?

Your today is the tomorrow that you worried about yesterday

You are worrying because you are analyzing

Worrying has become your habit. That's why you are not happy.

Me: But how can we not worry when there is so much uncertainty?

God:Uncertainty is inevitable, but worrying is optional.

Me: But then, there is so much pain due to uncertainty..

God:Pain is inevitable, but suffering is optional.

Me: If suffering is optional, why do good people always suffer?

God:Diamond cannot be polished without friction.Gold cannot be purified without fire.

Good people go through trials, but don't suffer. With that experience their life becomes better not bitter.

Me: You mean to say such experience is useful?

Yes. In every term, Experience is a hard teacher. She gives the test first and the lessons afterwards.

Me: But still, why should we go through such tests? Why can't we be free from problems?

God:Problems are Purposeful Roadblocks Offering Beneficial Lessons (to) Enhance Mental Strength.

Inner strength comes from struggle and endurance, not when you are free from problems.

Me: Frankly in the midst of so many problems, we don't know where we are heading.

God:If you look outside you will not know where you are heading.. Look inside. Looking outside, you dream. Looking inside, you awaken.Eyes provide sight. Heart provides insight.

Me: Sometimes not succeeding fast seems to hurt more than moving in the right direction. What should I do?

God:Success is a measure as decided by others Satisfaction is a measure as decided by you Knowing the road ahead is more satisfying than knowing you rode ahead. You work with the compass. Let others work with the clock.

Me: In tough times, how do you stay motivated?
Always look at how far you have come rather than how far you have to go.
Always count your blessing, not what you are missing.

Me: What surprises you about people?

God:when they suffer they ask, "why me?" When they prosper, they never ask "Why me". Everyone wishes to have truth on their side, but few want to be on the side of the truth.

Me: Sometimes I ask, who am I, why am I here. I can't get the answer.

God:Seek not to find who you are, but to determine who you want to be. Stop looking for a purpose as to why you are here. Create it.

Life is not a process of discovery but a process of creation.

Me: How can I get the best out of life?

God:Face your past without regret. Handle your present with confidence. Prepare for the future without fear.

Me: One last question. Sometimes I feel my prayers are not answered.

God:There are no unanswered prayers. At times the answer is NO.

Me: Thank you for this wonderful chat. I am so happy to start the New Day with a new sense of inspiration.

God:Well. Keep the faith and drop the fear. Don't believe your doubts and doubt your beliefs.

Life is a mystery to solve, not a problem to resolve.

God's Wings

A little something to put things in perspective…

After a forest fire in Yellowstone National Park , forest rangers
began their trek up a mountain to assess the inferno's damage.
One ranger found a bird literally petrified in ashes, perched
statuesquely on the ground at the base of a tree. Somewhat
sickened by the eerie sight, he knocked over the bird with a stick.
 
When he gently struck it, three tiny chicks scurried from under
their dead mother's wings. The loving mother, keenly aware of
impending disaster, had carried her offspring to the base of the
tree and had gathered them under her wings, instinctively knowing
that the toxic smoke would rise.

She could have flown to safety but had refused to abandon her
babies. Then the blaze had arrived and the heat had scorched her
small body, the mother had remained steadfast ..because she had
been willing to die, so those under the cover of her wings would live.

'He will cover you with His feathers,
And under His wings you will find refuge.'
(Psalm 91:4)

Being loved this much should make a difference in your life.
Remember the One who loves you, and then be different because of it.
Time waits for no one. Treasure every moment you have. You will
treasure it even more when you can share it with someone special.
To realize the value of a friend…lose one.

Having Peace of Mind is Effortless

Once Buddha was walking from one town to another town with a few of his followers. This was in the initial days... While they were travelling, they happened to pass a lake. They stopped there and Buddha told one of his disciples, "I am thirsty. Do get me some water from that lake there."

The disciple walked up to the lake. When he reached it, he noticed that some people were washing clothes in the water, and right at that moment, a bullock cart started crossing through the lake. As a result, the water became very muddy, very turbid. The disciple thought, "How can I give this muddy water to Buddha to drink!" So he came back and told Buddha, "The water in there is very muddy. I don't think it is fit to drink." After about half an hour, again Buddha asked the same disciple to go back to the lake and get him some water to drink.

The disciple obediently went back to the lake. This time he found that the lake had absolutely clear water in it. The mud had settled down and the water above it looked fit to be had. So he collected some water in a pot and brought it to Buddha. Buddha looked at the water, and then he looked up at the disciple and said,
See what you did to make the water clean. You let it be…. and the mud settled down on its own – and you got clear water.Your mind is also like that! When it is disturbed, just let it be. Give it a little time. It will settle down on its own. You don't have to put in any effort to calm it down. It will happen. It is effortless.
What did Buddha emphasize here?

He said, "It is effortless." Having 'Peace of Mind' is not a strenuous job; it is an effortless process! When there is peace inside you, that peace permeates to the outside. It spreads around you and in the environment, such that people around start feeling that peace and grace.

Just because you can't see God, doesn't mean He is not there.

Do you know the legend of the Cherokee Indian youth's rite of Passage? His father takes him into the forest, blindfolds him and leaves him alone. He is required to sit on a stump the whole night and not remove the blindfold until the rays of the morning sun shine through it. He cannot cry out for help to anyone. Once he survives the night, he is a MAN.

He cannot tell the other boys of this experience, because each lad must come into manhood on his own. The boy is naturally terrified. He can hear all kinds of noises. Wild beasts must surely be all around him. Maybe even some human might do him harm. The wind blew the grass and earth, and shook his stump, but he sat stoically, never removing the blindfold. It would be the only way he could become a man!

Finally, after a horrific night the sun appeared and he removed his blindfold. It was then that he discovered his father sitting on the stump next to him. He had been at watch the entire night, protecting his son from harm. We, too, are never alone. Even when we don't know it, God is watching over us, sitting on the stump beside us. When trouble comes, all we have to do is reach out to Him. If you liked this story, pass it on. If not, you took off your blindfold before dawn.

Moral of the story: Just because you can't see God, doesn't mean He is not there. 'For we walk by faith, not by sight.'

ONE PARAGRAPH THAT EXPLAINS LIFE!

Arthur Ashe, the legendary Wimbledon player was dying of AIDS which he got due to infected blood he received during a heart surgery in 1983.

From world over, he received letters from his fans, one of which conveyed:

"Why does GOD have to select you for such a bad disease"?

To this Arthur Ashe replied:

"The world over — 50 million children start playing tennis,

5 million learn to play tennis, 500,000 learn professional tennis,

50,000 come to the circuit, 5000 reach the grand slam,

50 reach Wimbledon, 4 to semi final, 2 to the finals,

When I was holding a cup I never asked GOD 'Why me?'.

And today in pain I should not be asking GOD 'Why me?' "

"Happiness keeps you Sweet,

Trials keep you Strong,

Sorrow keeps you Human,

Failure keeps you humble and Success keeps you glowing, but only Faith &

Attitude keeps you going…


In this time of deep uncertainty - where so many people live in fear - we all need to do everything possible to avoid negativity. To stay focused on opportunities versus problems. To keep our minds nice and free.

I suggest you limit the amount of adverse news you expose the precious resource of your mind to. Surround yourself with inspired and upbeat people. Read great books. Think beautiful thoughts.

And during this challenging economic cycle, commit even more fully to daily learning. The best in business - and in life - viscerally get that the best thinkers get the best results. So they invest in ideas and personal development. Because the more you grow as a person, the more you will grow in success.

This is just soo beautiful! BEING A MOTHER

After 21 years of marriage, my wife wanted me to take another woman out to dinner and a movie. She said, 'I love you, but I know this other woman loves you and would love to spend some time with you.'

The other woman that my wife wanted me to visit was my MOTHER, who has been a widow for 19 years. The demands of my work and my two children had made it possible to visit her only occasionally.

That night I called to invite her to go out for dinner and a movie.

'What's wrong, are you well?' she asked.

My mother is the type of woman who suspects that a late night call or a surprise invitation is a sign of bad news.

'I thought that it would be pleasant to spend some time with you,' I responded. 'Just the two of us.'

She thought about it for a moment, and then said, 'I would like that very much.'

That Friday after work, as I drove over to pick her up I was a bit nervous. When I arrived at her house, I noticed that she, too, seemed to be nervous about our date.

She waited in the door with her coat on. She had curled her hair and was wearing the dress that she had worn to celebrate her last wedding anniversary.

She smiled from a face that was as radiant as an angel's. 'I told my friends that I was going to go out with my son, and they were impressed,' she said, as she got into the car. 'They can't wait to hear about our meeting.'

We went to a restaurant that, although not elegant, was very nice and cozy. My mother took my arm as if she were the First Lady.

After we sat down, I had to read the menu. Her eyes could only read large print. Half way through the entries, I lifted my eyes and saw Mom sitting there staring at me. A nostalgic smile was on her lips. 'It was I who used to have to read the menu when you were small,' she said.

'Then it's time that you relax and let me return the favour,' I responded.

During the dinner, we had an agreeable conversation, nothing extraordinary but catching up on recent events of each other's life. We talked so much that we missed the movie.

As we arrived at her house later, she said, 'I'll go out with you again, but only if you let me invite you.' I agreed.

'How was your dinner date?' asked my wife when I got home.
'Very nice. Much more so than I could have imagined,' I answered.

A few days later, my mother died of a massive heart attack. It happened so suddenly that I
didn't have a chance to do anything for her.

Some time later, I received an envelope with a copy of a restaurant receipt from the same place mother and I had dined.

An attached note said: 'I paid this bill in advance. I wasn't sure that I could be there; but nevertheless, I paid for two plates - one for you and the other for your wife. You will never know what that night meant for me. I love you, son.'

At that moment, I understood the importance of saying in time: 'I LOVE YOU' and to give our loved ones the time that they deserve. Nothing in life is more important than your family. Give them the time they deserve, because these things cannot be put off till 'some other time'.

Somebody said it takes about six weeks to get back to normal after you've had a baby ... somebody doesn't know that once you're a mother, 'normal' is history.

Somebody said you learn how to be a mother by instinct ... somebody never took a three-year-old shopping.

Somebody said being a mother is boring ... somebody never rode in a car driven by a teenager with a driver's permit.

Somebody said if you're a 'good' mother, your child will 'turn out good' ... somebody thinks a child comes with directions and a guarantee.

Somebody said 'good' mothers never raise their voices ... somebody never came out the back door just in time to see her child hit a golf ball through the neighbour's kitchen window.

Somebody said you don't need an education to be a mother ... somebody never helped a fourth grader with his math.

Somebody said you can't love the second child as much as you love the first ... somebody doesn't have two children.

Somebody said a mother can find all the answers to her child-rearing questions in the books ... somebody never had a child stuff beans up his nose or in his ears.

Somebody said the hardest part of being a mother is labour and delivery ... somebody never watched her 'baby' get on the bus for the first day of kindergarten or on a plane headed for military 'boot camp.'

Somebody said a mother can do her job with her eyes closed and one hand tied behind her back ... somebody never organized seven giggling Brownies to sell cookies.

Somebody said a mother can stop worrying after her child gets married ... somebody doesn't know that marriage adds a new son or daughter-in- law to a mother's heartstrings.

Somebody said a mother's job is done when her last child leaves home ... somebody never had grandchildren.

Somebody said your mother knows you love her, so you don't need to tell her ... somebody isn't a mother.

Pass this along to all the 'mothers' in your life, and to everyone who ever had a mother. This isn't just about being a mother, it's about appreciating the people in your life while you have them....no matter who they are.

Article Setting Boundaries - By Lisa Phillips

Have you ever walked away from a person, event or situation and felt resentful or violated? If some of your experiences are making you uncomfortable, then it may be time to set some boundaries. Setting good boundaries is healthy. It is not rude, bad or wrong. It is not bad or rude or wrong! YES, I repeated that statement as many people believe that they should not speak up or set boundaries just in case it hurts another's feelings. However, when we walk away from a person who has hurt us in some way, we often feel resentful and upset. Not speaking up gives out the message that the emotional wellbeing of the person who has hurt you is more important that your own emotional wellbeing! The result is that you are happy to protect another persons feeling -- but not your own!

Good boundaries prevent you from being hurt and allow you to feel safe in your environment. They also assist others in knowing where they stand with you and let others know what you want and what you don't want. A boundary is a limit that defines you as being separate from another person.

A good emotional boundary acknowledges that we have a unique set of feelings and reactions which are our own! The way we respond to situations / other people in our life is based on our own perception, background, history, values, and concerns. We may find people who will react in a similar way but no one reacts exactly as we do. Every BODY is different!

So when it comes to how people treat us emotionally, we will all have limits on what we find safe and acceptable. When I was a teenager, I used to allow friends to comment nastily about the fact that I wore glasses. This used to upset me at the time because I didn't know any better. However, in adulthood, I now know that nobody has the right to comment on my appearance and if this was to happen now, I would be able to respond by saying 'My appearance is none of your business and I would like it if you kept your comments to yourself'. I also choose in adulthood, not to surround myself with individuals who make nasty comments!

Here are some examples of weak emotional boundaries:

1) Pretending to agree with another person when you disagree
2) Allowing people to borrow money / personal possessions and not speaking up when you would like them returned
3) Hiding your true feelings ( Saying you don't feel upset when inside you feel upset)
4) Attending a party / evening out when you really don't want to go but would prefer not to let anyone down
5) Ignoring your own needs
6) Working long hours as you don't want to let your boss down
7) Not eating regular healthy foods
8) Pushing yourself beyond your own limits

I also learned as a coach that I needed to set boundaries. I used to let clients say anything they liked to me but now I will not put my emotional needs secondary. If a client was to get aggressive and shout at me during a coaching session, I would set a limit. People can be angry of course, but hostility is not acceptable. In truth, it also does not help anyone to just keep quiet when your boundaries are violated as in this case, I would be setting an example that angry behavior towards me was acceptable.

This is an important point to note -- when you allow someone to treat you in an upsetting way, the other person will not learn that this is not acceptable behavior. Protecting yourself and setting healthy boundaries is necessary for both parties.

Once you learn to educate others on what you do or do not find acceptable behavior towards you, you will notice that some will comply easily with the request -- some may however continue to treat you badly. Try a few of these statements to help you get the message across:

1) I feel uncomfortable when you speak to me like that. Please stop it.
2) I request that you lower your voice.
3) What you are saying is unacceptable to me. Please stop it.
4) I need you not to yell at me when you are angry.

Setting boundaries will help you feel safe in your environment. It is a way to exhibit self respect -- and remember, if you respect yourself, people will respect you!

To find out what your personal boundaries are, ask yourself the following questions:

What don't I want in my life / relationships?
What type of behavior hurts me?
How do people need to behave around me in order for me to feel good?

Make a list of your answers and then make your boundaries big enough for you to feel very safe. Practice makes perfect and good boundaries require constant maintenance but they will improve the quality of your life!