Saturday, August 30, 2014

Magnolias

I was ready for my daughter’s June wedding which was taking place in a church about forty miles away, and felt loaded with responsibilities as I watched my budget dwindle….. So many details, so many bills, and so little time.
My son Jack said he would walk his younger sister down the aisle, taking the place of his dad who had died a few years before. He teased Patsy, saying he’d wanted to give her away since she was about three years old!
To save money, I gathered blossoms from several friends who had large magnolia trees. Their luscious, creamy-white blooms and slick green leaves would make beautiful arrangements against the rich dark wood inside the church.

The big day arrived – the busiest day of my life – and while her bridesmaids helped Patsy to dress, her fiancĂ© Tim walked with me to the sanctuary to do a final check. When we opened the door and felt a rush of hot air, I almost fainted; and then I saw them – all the beautiful white flowers were black. Funeral black. An electrical storm during the night had knocked out the air conditioning system, and on that hot summer day, the flowers had wilted and died.
I panicked, knowing I didn’t have time to drive back to our hometown, gather more flowers, and return in time for the wedding and I certainly didn’t have the extra money to buy a new set from the florist in town.
Tim turned to me. ‘Edna, can you get more flowers? I’ll throw away these dead ones and put fresh flowers in these arrangements.’
I mumbled, ‘Sure,’ as he be-bopped down the hall to put on his cuff links.
Alone in the large sanctuary, I looked up at the dark wooden beams in the arched ceiling. ‘Lord,’ I prayed, ‘please help me. I don’t know anyone in this town. Help me find someone willing to give me flowers – in a hurry!’ I scurried out praying for the blessing of white magnolias.
As I left the church, I saw magnolia trees in the distance. I approached a house…. no dog in sight…. knocked on the door and an older man answered. So far so good. No shotgun. When I stated my plea the man beamed and said…. ‘I’d be happy to!’
Inline image 1

He climbed a stepladder and cut large boughs and handed them down to me. Minutes later, as I lifted the last armload into my car trunk, I said, ‘Sir, you’ve made the mother of a bride happy today.’
‘No , Ma’am,’ he said. ‘You don’t understand what’s happening here. ”What?’ I asked. ‘
You see, my wife of sixty-seven years died on Monday. On Tuesday I received friends at the funeral home, and on Wednesday . . . . . He paused. I saw tears welling up in his eyes.
‘On Wednesday I buried her.’ He looked away. ‘On Thursday most of my out-of-town relatives went back home, and on Friday – yesterday – my children left.’
I nodded.
‘This morning,’ he continued, ‘I was sitting in my den crying out loud. I miss her so much. For the last sixteen years, as her health got worse, she needed me. But now nobody needs me. This morning I cried, ‘Who needs an eighty-six-year-old wore-out man? Nobody!’ I began to cry louder. ‘Nobody needs me!’
About that time, you knocked, and said, ‘Sir, I need you.’
I stood with my mouth open. He asked, ‘Are you an angel ?’ I assured him I was no angel.
He smiled. ‘Do you know what I was thinking when I handed you those magnolias?’
‘No.’
‘I decided I’m needed. My flowers are needed. Why, I might have a flower ministry! I could give them to everyone! Some caskets at the funeral home have no flowers. People need flowers at times like that and I have lots of them. They’re all over the backyard! I can give them to hospitals, churches – all sorts of places. You know what I’m going to do? I’m going to serve the Lord until the day He calls me home!’

I drove back to the church, filled with wonder. On Patsy’s wedding day, if anyone had asked me to encourage someone who was hurting, I would have said, ‘Forget it! It’s my only daughter’s wedding, for goodness sake! There is no way I can minister to anyone today.’

But God found a way. Through dead flowers. ‘Life is not the way it’s supposed to be. It’s the way it is. The way you cope with it is what makes the difference.’
If you have missed knowing me, you have missed nothing. If you have missed some of my emails, you may have missed a laugh.

But, if you have missed knowing God you have missed everything in the world!! He can be your everything. May God’s blessings be upon you.

Life without God is like an un-sharpened pencil. It has no point!

THIS IS SO TRUE…. BEING NEEDED IS SO UPLIFTING TO EACH OF US.

Thursday, August 28, 2014

Just Shine- Anonymous

A samurai who was known for his nobility and honesty, went to visit a Zen monk to ask him for his advise.

When the monk finished his prayers the samurai asked, “Why do I feel inferior? I have faced death so many times, have defended those who are weak. Never the less, upon seeing you meditating, I felt that my life had absolutely no importance what so ever.”

“Wait. Once I have attended to all those who have come to see me today, I shall answer you.” – replied the monk.

The samurai spent the whole day sitting in the temple gardens, watching the people go in and out in search of advice. He saw how the monk received them all with the same patience and illuminating smile on his face.

At nightfall, when everyone had gone, he demanded: “Now can you teach me?”

The master invited him in and lead him to his room. The full moon shone in the sky, and the atmosphere was one of profound tranquility.

“Do you see the moon, how beautiful it is? It will cross the entire firmament, and tomorrow the sun will shine once again. The sunlight is much brighter, and can show the details of landscape around us: trees, mountains, clouds. I have contemplated for two years and I have never heard the moon say: why do I not shine like the sun? Is it because I am inferior?”

“Of course not.”- answered the samurai. “The moon and the sun are different things, each has its own beauty. You cannot compare the two.”

Tuesday, July 15, 2014

7 Crucial Steps to Minimize Drama in Your Life :By Lori Desc

1. Recognize when you might be creating drama.

You get what you put out. If you act in a way that is positive and minimal drama, you attract the same kind of positive situations and people. ~April Myers
Drama usually comes from my reaction to other people’s actions. I stop to think: Does this really matter in the long run, or am I just trying to be right? ~Anita Grimm-Hohl
I minimize drama within myself. When I’m focused and calm, so is the world around me. ~Cynthia Ruprecht Hunt
Take if off the page:
If there’s drama in multiple areas of your life, be honest with yourself—you’re the constant. Are you creating it? We don’t do anything repeatedly unless there’s something in it for us, so, what’s the payoff?
Are you looking for attention or excitement? Did you grow up with drama and you just plain feel best when there’s some around you?
Now aim to find alternative solutions. If you’re looking for attention, can you get it more directly? If you’re bored, what new adventure can create in your life?

2. Change your perspective.

Be happy about little things, let the big stuff go because I can’t change any of it. ~Grace Foo
I zoom out in my mind to a point far enough away and above so that I can see things in my life for what they are. By doing this, I can see from a distance how small and unimportant the situation is in the big scope of the universe. ~Larry Stilts
Is this situation going to matter a year from now? If not, it’s not worth worrying about. ~Angela Orr
Take it off the page:
A lot of the drama takes place in our own heads, and it’s usually because we’re too deeply immersed in a difficult situation to recognize it isn’t as dire as it seems.
If you feel yourself getting overwhelmed by a situation, step back and realize this feeling isn’t permanent—nothing is. Then focus on action steps—on the things you can control. What can you today to proactively create a solution?

3. Don’t feed into other people’s drama.

Build a reputation for not participating in drama. ~Addy Rodriguez
Just be. Anything you resist persists. Don’t add any negative or positive focus on it. ~Nikki Star
Speak less, listen more. You have time to hear and see the drama and sidestep it. ~Alexis Benjamin‎
Be an observer. Not everything needs a reaction. ~Angelina PhouGui Chan-Ong
Take it off the page:
If someone repeatedly comes to you with catastrophes, give yourself a window of time when you’ll listen, and then take care of your own needs by walking away. Also, resist the urge to jump into a pity party. Oftentimes people calm themselves down when other people don’t validate their complaints.
Lastly, focus on your breath. Your calming energy may even help them let go.

4. Reconsider unhealthy relationships.

Minimize dramatic people in your life. ~Jeff Palmer
Befriend only people with good energy that don’t promote or create drama. ~Carmen Portela
I realize that spending time by myself is always preferable to spending time with someone who wants drama. Nothing wrong with a dull day. ~Stephanie Goddard
Remove the source of drama from my life. It really is that simple. ~Claudia Jacobs
Take it off the page:
Take an inventory of which people in your life leave you feeling stressed and unhappy more often than not. If you don’t want to completely remove a toxic relationship, minimize the time you spend together.
If you don’t want to change how often you see each other, recognize drama triggers. When the conversation moves toward her horrible mother, steer it somewhere else.

5. Be clear and straight with other people.

Be as open and honest and communicative as possible. Listen without reacting. ~Faith McGregor
If I have an issue with someone I go straight to them to talk about it, and I don’t talk to anyone else about it if they aren’t involved. Gossip breeds drama! ~Kristie Sherman
Drama comes about because of either misunderstanding or overreaction. Be as honest and open in all cases as possible. Quell your own negative emotions, which will in turn diffuse the negative emotions of others. ~Vito Ruiz
Take it off the page:
A lot of drama comes from poor communication and confusion. Eliminate it by finding the courage to say exactly what you mean. It may be harder in the moment, but it can save a lot of heartache in the long run.
On the flip side, let people know that they can be honest with you. If someone thinks they need to walk on eggshells around you, they’ll likely hold things in—but they will come out eventually, if not in words, in resentful actions.

6. Be slow to label something as “drama.”

When it comes to people you know you love, always take an extra moment to reconsider, if the “problem” is actually a problem, if it’s worth making a big deal out of it. ~Christian Andersen Hauge
I realize that life is a roller-coaster and my problems are much like others’ at different times. ~Margaret I. Gibson
Love them a little more. It’s who they are. It might even be you. ~Ed Pulsifer
Don’t speculate, good or bad. Simply deal with what’s actually in front of you. ~Michael Stodola
Take it off the page:
Sometimes what we’re labeling as drama is just someone who really needs us. Instead of expelling mental energy judging the situation as good or bad, focus on being there and being a friend in the moment.
Then be a friend to yourself and let the drama go when you walk away.  A lot of the drama we experience in life comes from our interpretations of the things we experience—particularly after the moments have passed.

7. Learn from drama.

I attempt to allow the inevitable episode, extract any potential meaning or lesson, and equally allow it to pass. ~Joel Olmstead
I try to see the learning experience in the drama. And I think of the sentence “Without rain you can’t enjoy the sunny days.” ~Anja Feijen
Accept it, learn from it, and go on with life. ~Vincent Neerings
Take it off the page:
Sometimes it seems like drama happens to us, and we’re powerless to remove ourselves from the cause. Another perspective is that every time we find ourselves immersed in something that seems overwhelming, we have an opportunity to learn how to deal with challenges better.
Life will always involve mini fires that we feel desperate to put out. If we can learn not to fan them, they may actually be able to light our way

Monday, July 14, 2014

7 Reasons to Stop Proving Yourself to Everyone Else:post written by: Marc Chernoff

Sometimes we try to show the world we are flawless in hopes that we will be liked and accepted by everyone, but we can’t please everyone and we shouldn’t try.  The beauty of us lies in our vulnerability, our complex emotions, and our authentic imperfections.  When we embrace who we are and decide to be authentic, instead of who we think others want us to be, we open ourselves up to real relationships, real happiness, and real success.
There is no need to put on a mask.  There is no need to pretend to be someone you’re not.  You have nothing to prove to anyone else, because…

1.  The people worth impressing just want you to be yourself.

In the long run, it’s better to be loathed for who you are than loved for who you are not.  In fact, the only relationships that work well in the long run are the ones that make you a better person without changing you into someone other than yourself, and without preventing you from outgrowing the person you used to be.
Ignore the comparisons and expectations knocking at your door.  The only person you should try to be better than is the person you were yesterday.  Prove yourself to yourself, not others.  The RIGHT people for you will love you for doing so, and they will appreciate all the things about you that the WRONG people are intimidated by.  Bottom line: Don’t change so people will like you; be patient, keep being your amazing self, and pretty soon the RIGHT people will love the REAL you.

2.  No one else really knows what’s best for YOU.

Don’t lose yourself in your search for acceptance by others.  Walk your path confidently and don’t expect anyone else to understand your journey, especially if they have not been exactly where you are going.  You have to take the steps that are right for you; no one else walks in your shoes.
Let others take you as you are, or not at all.  Speak your truth even if your voice shakes.  By being true to yourself, you put something breathtaking into the world that was not there before.  You are stunning when your passion and strength shines through as you follow your own path – when you aren’t distracted by the opinions of others.  You are powerful when you let your mistakes educate you, and your confidence builds from firsthand experiences – when you know you can fall down, pick yourself up, and move forward without asking for anyone else’s permission.  

3.  YOU are the only person who can change YOUR life.

In every situation you have ever been in, positive or negative, the one common thread is you.  It is your responsibility, and yours alone, to recognize that regardless of what has happened up to this point in your life, you are capable of making choices to change your situation, or to change the way you think about it.  Don’t let the opinions of others interfere with this prevailing reality.
What you’re capable of achieving is not a function of what other people think is possible for you.  What you’re capable of achieving depends entirely on what you choose to do with your time and energy.  So stop worrying about what everyone else thinks.  Just keep living your truth.  The only people that will fault you for doing so are those who want you to live a lie.

4.  Society’s materialistic measurement of worth is worthless.

When you find yourself trapped between what moves you and what society tells you is right for you, always travel the route that makes you feel alive – unless you want everyone to be happy, except you.  No matter where life takes you, big cities or small towns, you will inevitably come across others who think they know what’s best for you – people who think they’re better than you – people who think happiness, success and beauty mean the same things to everyone.
They’ll try to measure your worth based on what you have, instead of who you are.  But you know better than that – material things don’t matter.  Don’t chase the money.  Catch up to the ideas and activities that make you come alive.  Go for the things of greater value – the things money can’t buy.  What matters is having strength of character, an honest heart, and a sense of self-worth.  If you’re lucky enough to have any of these things, never sell them.  Never sell yourself short. 

5.  Life isn’t a race; you have nothing to prove.

Everyone wants to get to the top of the mountain first and shout, “Look at me!  Look at me!”  But the truth is, all your happiness and growth occurs while you’re climbing, not while you’re sitting at the top.  Enjoy the journey by paying attention to each step.  Don’t rush through your life and miss it.  Forget where everyone else is in relation to you.  This isn’t a race.  You get there a little at a time, not all at once.
Let go of the foolish need to prove yourself to everyone else, and you’ll free yourself to accomplish what matters most to you.  Sometimes you have to remind yourself that you don’t have to always be and do what everyone else is being and doing.

6.  The path to all great things passes through failure.

You are an ever-changing work in progress.  You don’t have to always be right, you just have to not be too worried about being wrong.  Screwing up is part of the process.  Looking like a fool sometimes is the only way forward.  If you try too hard to impress everyone else with your “perfection,” you will stunt your growth.  You will spend all your time looking a certain way, instead of living a certain way.
It’s impossible to live without failing sometimes, unless you live so cautiously that you aren’t really living at all – you’re merely existing.  If you’re too afraid of failing in front of others, you can’t possibly do what needs to be done to be successful in your own eyes.  You have to remember that it doesn’t matter how many times you fail or how messy your journey is, so long as you do not stop taking small steps forward.  In the end, those who don’t care that failure is inevitable are the ones that reach their dreams.  YOU can be one of them.  

7.  It’s impossible to please everyone anyway.

Some people will always tell you what you did wrong, and then hesitate to compliment you for what you did right.  Don’t be one of them, and don’t put up with them.
When you run into someone who discredits you, disrespects you and treats you poorly for no apparent reason at all, don’t consume yourself with trying to change them or win their approval.  And be sure not to leave any space in your heart to hate them.  Simply walk away and let karma deal with the things they say and do, because any bit of time you spend on these people will be wasted, and any bit of hate and aggravation in your heart will only hurt you in the end.

Friday, July 11, 2014

Chinese Bamboo Tree-story


Chinese bamboo is quite unique on its own. When this bamboo is planted, watered, and nurtured for the whole growing season, it does not outwardly develop even just for an inch. Then, on the next growing season, the farmer must continue to irrigate, fertilize and care for the bamboo tree and yet nothing happens – it fails to sprout just the same.
And as the seasons go in and out, the farmer has to continue caring for the bamboo for four consecutive years. What could really be discouraging is the farmer has nothing substantial to demonstrate for all of his labor in caring and growing the tree. Four lonely years of hard work and caring and yet you have nothing!
And then on the fifth year, you must be prepared for something so amazing and incredible!
All the hard work seems to be paid off on the fifth year because that Chinese bamboo tree seed at last grows and not just growing as we normally see with other plants. The bamboo tree shoots up to more than 80 feet all in just one growing season! Now, that is a very astonishing demonstration of the power of nature!
Now, you might be thinking: Did the small tree loll inactive for four years and then just decides to grow dramatically on the fifth? I think the answer is quite clear for us to see. The little tree was actually developing itself underground by expanding its root system to make it tough enough to sustain its impending external growth in the fifth year and even beyond.
Now, had the tree failed to build up a strong and able underground foundation, it would be impossible for it to keep on growing when it is time to sprout outside into the outside world.
This story is very much true in rearing our beautiful children. As parents, we have to patiently exert efforts in teaching and disciplining our children for them to develop right values and to adopt strong character while at the same time defeat many difficulties and different challenges.
If that Chinese bamboo farmer dug up his little bamboo seeds each year just because he is curious or wants to make sure it was growing or what, he could effectively stopped the tree’s growth. There are times when we demand our little children to sit still and behave and be patient but big lessons can be deeply taught once they are demonstrated in actions and not just in words.

Monday, August 12, 2013

How to Make Happiness a Habit- Tessa Miller

I’m not one who believes you can be happy all the time, but I have learned you can be happy much of the time. And that’s not something that depends on how your day is going or how others treat you — it depends on what you do on a regular basis.
 
I remember being unhappy most days, at one point in my life. It wasn’t because I hated the people in my life — I had a lovely wife, great kids, other wonderful family members and friends. It was because I was unhappy with myself, and that caused growing debt problems, unhappiness with my job, health problems and more. I felt like I couldn’t change any of that.

Then one day I sat down and made a list. I make a lot of list — it’s one of my favourite habits — but this list seemed to have a magical power. It was a list of the things I was grateful for. Amazingly, there were a lot of things on the list, from things about my wife, kids, relatives, and friends, to things about my job, about nature around me, about my life. This list was magical because I went from feeling a bit depressed about everything, and hopeless and helpless, to much happier. My mindset shifted from the things I didn’t like or didn’t have, to the things I was really happy I had. And I was in control.

Since then I’ve experimented with a number of habits and have found a couple things to be true:

A handful of activities can actually make you happy.
 
If you incorporate them into your life on a regular basis (make them into habits), you’ll be happier regularly. And those might seem to be small realizations, but actually they’re huge.

The Habits That Make You Happy
So what habits make you happy? Try doing these on a daily basis, and see if you get the same results:

List Three Good Things. My wife and I started a daily evening ritual, at about 7pm each day, where we take a moment to tell each other three good things about our day. We didn’t invent this, but it serves as at least one time in your day when you focus on what you’re grateful for. This can create a mental habit of gratitude that you can use other times in your day, when you’re focused on the things you don’t like or have — when you feel this, think about something you do have, that you love. Find a way to be grateful, and you’re happier.

Help Someone. When we focus on ourselves, and the woeful state of our lives, we are self-centered. This shrinks the world to one little place with one little unhappy person. But what if we can expand that worldview, and expand our heart to include at least one other person? Maybe even a few others? Then we see that others are suffering too, even if that just means they’re stressed out. Then we can reach out, and do something to reduce their stress, put a smile on their face, make their lives easier. Help at least one person each day, and you’ll find your entire perspective shifted.

Meditate. I’ve called this the Fundamental Habit, because it affects everything else. Meditate for just two minutes a day, and you’ll create a habit that will allow you to notice your thoughts throughout the rest of the day, that will help you to be more present (unhappiness comes from not being present), that will help you notice the source of anxiety and distraction. That’s a lot that can be accomplished in two minutes! Sit every morning when you wake, and just notice your body, and then your breath. Notice when your mind wanders, and gently return to your breath. You become the watcher of your mind, and you’ll learn some useful things, I promise.

Exercise. Everyone knows you should exercise, so I’m not going to belabour this point. But it really does make you happier, both in the moment of exercise (I’m exerting myself, I’m alive!) and throughout the rest of the day. Exercise lightly, if you’re not in the habit yet, and just for a few minutes a day to start out. Who doesn’t have a few minutes a day? If you don’t, you need to loosen up your schedule a bit.

There are a number of other habits that also help: mindful eating, drinking tea, doing yoga, socializing with others. But these incorporate meditation (they’re more active forms of meditation), and exercise, and helping others, and gratitude (if you’re doing it right). So I wanted to list the most basic habits, and then you can expand to other areas.
How do you form these habits? One at a time, starting as small as possible, with some social accountability. Set these habits in motion. You’ll notice yourself becoming more present, more grateful, more other-focused. The shift that results is nothing short of a miracle.

Harmony In Relationships…by anonymoius

Speak always with a conscious control and only what is necessary and helpful.

Always Look On The Bright Side.
A pessimist sees the difficulty in every opportunity;
an optimist sees opportunity in every difficulty.

Serenity
The real sign of serenity is not seen so much in the face,
as found in the depth and stillness of the eyes.

Notice the Difference
Replace the words “I have to” with “I choose to”
and notice the difference in how you feel.

Courage
Courage is taking a step forward into an area of difficulty without a solution in mind, trusting that whatever help you need will become available.

Self-Respect
Experience the bliss of Self-Respect and give respect to others at all times. When I am prejudiced against another, my narrow vision and small heart lower my self-dignity and self-worth

Best Kind of Friend
The best kind of friend is the kind, you can sit on a porch and swing with, never say a word,
and then walk away, feeling like it was the best conversation you’ve ever had.

Balance
Maintain the balance of responding to situations with a cool head and to people with a warm heart.

In order to remain constantly happy transform bad things into something good with the power of silence.

Learn To Create Love
If I limit the love I give to just one or two, it will eventually go stale.
If I learn to create love inside my heart and silently give it to everyone I meet, love will grace every corner of my life.
 
 An Ancient Peace
There is a silence into which the world cannot intrude.
There is an ancient peace you carry in your heart and have not lost. There is a love you have missed for so long and will always come back to.
Pure and Gentle
Success is merged in every step of those who have a pure and gentle nature.

The Happiness You Give
The happiness you give makes you more happy than the happiness you receive.

Lotus Life
The lotus is a symbol of purity. Its roots are in the mud, but the flower remains above dirty water. Live a lotus life. Be in the world, but unaffected by impurities.

Determination
Determination brings the strength to continue, the steadiness to succeed, and the wisdom to slip past difficulties undisturbed.

Vibrations
With your own vibrations of peace and happiness,
give everyone else the experience of happiness and comfort.

Power of Silence
In order to remain constantly happy transform bad things
into something good with the power of silence.

Learn To Create Love
If I limit the love I give to just one or two, it will eventually go stale.
If I learn to create love inside my heart and silently give it to everyone I meet, love will grace every corner of my life.

Thursday, June 27, 2013

Believe In Yourself... Les Brown

It's time to believe in yourself. You have enough critics. You have the ability to do more than you ever thought you could do.

Don't let your past define you. The past is not a place you can point to on a map. It exists only in your mind. Why do you continually seek to return to a place that simply doesn't exist?


Your task is to remain focused forward toward the future, and to stay rooted in the present because the present is where you will make your impact and can change lives.


You redefine your future when you redesign your present.


As you look at your life, consider your goals and what you are doing on a daily basis to bring them to fruition. Are you on track? You must continually monitor your progress and course correct as early as you can in order to be successful.


Above all, be coachable. Figure out what you want to do and then find someone that has already done it and hire them to assist you. Hire them so you can save yourself time and costly mistakes.


You see, there's no secret to success. There's a system to success. Once you tap into that system, you're golden. I promise you that you have something special, something you can believe in.


You have Greatness within you!


Les Brown

Wednesday, April 3, 2013

7 Tips for a Fearless Life-Tess Marshall

Fear is a thief. It will steal your time, energy and dreams. It makes you anxious during the day and keeps you tossing and turning throughout the night.

Fear is crazy making; it taunts and depletes you. It keeps you  imprisoned, depressed and lifeless. Fear steals your joy.

It doesn’t have to be this way. You have the freedom of choice. Make a decision today; choose to take your power back.

Don’t let fear win. Choose to take action. Choose adventure over your comfort zone. Choose to give your attention, time and energy to your dreams. Choose to be unstoppable!

If you’re looking for ways to make different choices but don’t know where to start, you may find these ideas helpful.

Visualize life without fear. How magnificent would your life be? Write out a description of your best life. Make a mental movie and give yourself the leading role. Rerun your movie as often as necessary.

Have faith. Do you faith in your fear or faith in your ability, talent and wisdom? We never lose faith; we only misplace it. Believe in possibilities and opportunities. Believe in yourself. Believe in your higher power, the universe or God. Believe that you have a part in making the world a better place.

Delete mental garbage. Give up your negative affirmations. “I can’t do it.” “I’m not as good as the others.” “I don’t have time.” “I’m not smart enough or qualified.” Replace the garbage with positive self-talk and affirmations.

Identify and use your resources. This can include your mastermind group, spiritual practices, strengths, skills, books, classes and anything else that will give you the courage to be your brilliant self.

Take action. Do your most important tasks at the beginning of your day. Don’t get caught up in busy work. Stay committed. If you veer off course, begin again. If you make a mistake, begin again. Keep going and you will reach your goal.

Persist and persevere. Don’t become discouraged by a previous failure. Instead use it as a learning opportunity.  Answer the following questions: How does this make me stronger? What opportunity does it
give me? What is the next move I must take? Press on!

Trust the process. Learn to trust life. Trust that things have a way of working themselves out. Trust that the right people will be put on your path. Trust that you’ll pick yourself up if you fail. When you trust the process, you’re able to live in the present moment without worrying about the past or the future..

We were born to take risks, explore, grow and expand. We are meant to be out there living our dreams and making the world a more loving place. It’s time to let go and give life everything you’ve got.

The Pregnant Deer Scenario

In a forest, a pregnant deer is about to give birth to a baby. It finds a remote grass field nearby a river and slowly goes there thinking it would be safe. As she moves slowly, she gets labour pain.

At the same moment, dark clouds gather around that area and lightning starts a forest fire. Turning left, she sees a hunter who is aiming an arrow from a distance. As she tries to move towards right, she spots a hungry lion approaching towards her.

STOCHASTIC PROBABILITY THEORY

What can the pregnant deer do, as she is already under labour pain..?
What do you think will happen..?
Will the deer survive..?
Will it give birth to a fawn..?
Will the fawn survive...?

OR

Will everything be burnt by the forest fire...?
Can the deer go left..? No, the hunter's arrow is pointing at her.
Can she go right...? No, the hungry male lion is approaching her.
Can she move up..? No, there the forest is on fire.
Can she move down..? No, that is where the fierce river is.

Answer: She does nothing. She just focuses on giving birth to a new LIFE..

The sequence of events that happens at that fraction of a second (moment)
are as follows:

In a spur of MOMENT, a lightning strikes, and blinds the eyes of the hunter...!
At that MOMENT, he releases the arrow missing and zipping past the deer...!
At that MOMENT, the arrow hits and injures the lion badly...!
At that MOMENT, it starts to rain heavily and puts out the forest fire...!
At that next MOMENT, the deer gives birth to a healthy fawn...!

In our life too, there are MOMENTS of CHOICE when we all have to deal with negative thoughts from all sides. Some thoughts are so powerful they overcome us, and make us clueless.

Anything can happen in a MOMENT in this life. If you are religious, superstitious, atheist, agnostic or whatever, you can attribute this MOMENT to divine intervention, faith, sudden luck, serendipity, coincidence, karma, or a simple 'I just don't know'...!

The priority of the deer, in that given moment, was simply giving birth to a baby, because LIFE IS PRECIOUS...!

In future, may you always be inspired to have a focused positive insight, oblivious of all imaginary, negative probabilities.


"LIFE is Flowing Like a River
With Unexpected TURNS,
May be GOOD,
May be BAD...
Learn to enjoy Each Turn
bcoz,
these Turns...

Never RE-TURN."

Wednesday, March 20, 2013

10 Steps to Summon Mighty Forces and Live a Bold Life

Most of your fears place you in the future with a sense of lack. You may fear that you’ll never have enough time, money, friends, support or love.

You may be afraid that you’ll always be stuck in the same job, relationship or place.

Think about your top three fears.

Fill in the blanks:

I’m afraid of __________________________.

I’m afraid of __________________________.

I’m afraid of __________________________.

What do they say about your personal beliefs? How do they keep you stuck?

Read through the following three fears and the possible negative beliefs behind them. See if you can relate.

1. Fear:  I won’t have enough money to support myself.

Negative beliefs:

I’m not smart or talented enough.

Nothing ever works out for me.

There aren’t any good jobs left.

There’s not enough to go around.

2. Fear: I’ll always be alone

Negative beliefs:

I’m unlovable.

I’m not thin enough.

Nobody cares about me.

I’m not pretty/handsome enough.

All the good people are taken.

3. Fear: I don’t measure up.

I don’t have enough.

I’m not good enough.

I’m damaged goods.

I’m not capable.

I’m going to be left behind.

Our fears create our reality. If you think you won’t have enough, you never will. If you think that you’re not lovable, others will support your belief. And if you think you don’t measure up, you’ll always feel inferior.

You have the power to invent a bold life. Canadian author and pastor, Basil King said, “When you live boldly you summon mighty forces.”

10 Steps to Summon Mighty Forces:

1. Reinvent your reality.

You create the world that you see with your belief system.  Choose to surrender your old beliefs and invent new ones.

2. Decide what kind of life you want.

Get an image of it in your mind. Write down affirmations to support your new vision. Hold your vision. Never let go.

3. Map out a strategy.

Decide what steps will take you to your dream. Give up what will get in the way. Take action.

4. Make new friends.

Reach out to the people that will support your new beliefs and challenge your limits. If you get rejected, try again. On the other side of rejection is a life-long friend.

5. Make a commitment.

Be willing to do what it takes. Every day, do your three most important tasks first. Track your time. Keep moving forward.

6. Prepare for the best.

Do what it takes. Wake up early. Focus. Do your best work. Ask for support.  Surrender perfection. Plan to have a happy ending.

7. Challenge yourself.

Take a risk. Don’t avoid what’s difficult. Do something different. Put yourself out there. Walk on the edge.

8. You are OK.

Bring to mind your past successes. Remind yourself of your strengths.Bring up the “feelings” that came with your previous accomplishments.  Sit in the “after-glow” in advance.

9. Be grateful in advance.

Write a letter in your journal and thank your friends and colleagues, in advance, for helping you accomplish your goal.

10. Manipulate your mind.

Learn to shift your perception when you catch yourself in doubt and fear. See your future through new lenses. Choose to believe that the best is yet to come. Look around and notice good things happening everywhere.

If you live in a world of fear and scarcity you’ll attract more fear and scarcity. Choose to invent a new reality. Make it one of possibility, miracles and love. I’ll meet you there!

Saturday, January 19, 2013

Waddling Penguins- Tess xo The Bold Life

Do you remember the movie The March of the Penguins? If you've seen it you didn't forget it. If you haven't seen it, watch it!
Most of us go after what we want in life with force, we make big plans, we spend a lot of time striving and forget about thriving. We want what we want, when we want it, even if we have to use force and manipulation to get it.
Then before you know it, we're on to the next best thing.
I don't think I'm the only one who falls into this, right? 
I've gotten a lot better. And when I forget, I watch the movie again.
One of my teachers, Jacob Glass, says we only need to stay in the present moment, go with the flow and take penguin steps. Yup, penguin steps. That's it!
Here's what gets me going about the Penguins.
1. Penguin Joy 
What stood out in the movie are the beauty and the joy of the penguins. They waddle! They take my breath away. They bask in their own beauty. And it's only black and white.
If we owned our beauty (inside and out) and expressed more joy, how would that look in our lives?
2. Penguin Steps
Penguins don't hold themselves back. They aren't stuck in doubt and fear. For 20 days and 20 nights they march in order to find a mate. They begin the large task in front of them with a small penguin step. They take another and another. 
Take your biggest problem or task today and break it down into penguin steps. Proceed forward. Waddle while you're at it.
3. Penguin Patience
They don't compete. They don't notice how fast anyone else is moving. They don't question if they'll get there. They do what they need to do, to make it happen. Freakin' amazing. I think this puts the penguins in the flow... and it's at these moments that they slide!
I think we humans need to compete less, and partner up more. And enjoy the slide...I mean ride.
4. Penguin Focus
They focus. They are persistent. They do what it takes. They enjoy themselves. Nothing side tracks the penguins. Nothing. 
What can you focus on for the next 20 days? Nope. I'm not going to give you permission to work nights too. That's striving.
5. Penguin Huddle
They keep each other warm. They take turns occupying the coldest and most exposed outside positions of the march. Without huddling they would die from the combined conditions of bitter cold, hurricane force winds, and fasting. Breeding would be impossible.
Families and friends huddle as well. We help each other, stand by each other, and grow through life together.  We have each other's backs. If we didn't we would die from the combined conditions of isolation and lack of human contact, connection, and love. 
In our high-tech and low-touch world, I think we all need to huddle more.
5. Penguin Moments
They move in the moment, one step at a time. They refuse to quit because the going is tough or slow. Part of their beauty is the present moment living. No worries, no hurries and no stress as they trust the process. 
What worry or hurry can you let go of today? Just breathe!
7. Penguins are Bold
Because of the conditions of the South only 19% of the chicks survive their first year. Yet the penguins march on year after year. They are bold and passionate. They risk everything and carry on. 
What are you willing to risk? What would you do if you knew that you could not fail? What's your dream? Go after it with delight and abandon. 
8. Penguin Love
The penguins run on love like a car runs on gas. The penguin is propelled forward by their inner desire to mate and create. They aren't driven by fame or power. They don't compete and compare. They move at their slow pace with love-filled penguin steps. 
Celebrate where you are on your path today. Celebrate your slow deliberate penguin steps. Celebrate the highs and the lows.
9. Penguin Community
They make the most important journey of their lives in community. If they walked alone many would die on the way. Others may come upon a carcass and give up as well. It's too painful to march through life alone. We need each other.
In the movie you can see penguins nudge one another along. When we travel in community and share each other's burdens, we ease each other's pain.

Wednesday, October 10, 2012

Children Learn What They Live .Dorothy Law Nolte Ph.D

If a child lives with hostility,
He learns to fight.

If a child lives with ridicule,
He learns to be shy.

If a child lives with shame
He learns to feel guilty.

If a child lives with tolerance,
He learns to be patient.

If a child lives with praise,
He learns to appreciate.

If a child lives with encouragement,
He learns confidence.

If a child lives with fairness,
He learns justice.

If a child lives with security,
He learns to have faith.

If a child lives with approval,
He learns to like himself.

If a child lives with acceptance and friendship,
He learns to find love in the world.

Monday, October 1, 2012

A Bag of Hurts Spiritual Story by Zura Ledbetter

There was a sweet, wonder-filled little girl who was hurt over and
over so badly that she entered adult life assuming that she was so bad
that others just couldn't be nice to her.

What she didn't know until much later, was that God had given her an
extra dose of curiosity. This curiosity is what kept her going,
seeking answers. She sought many wise people to help her understand
why she was so bad that her mother hurt her. And why she was unable to
be better so that men wouldn't hurt her.

She was on a journey that she thought was to help her be "better", but
she dragged a big sack with her everywhere she went. Inside this sack
were all the hurts she had experienced. Because she was so eager to
please those who offered their wisdom, she willingly agreed with what
they said about forgiving and compassion toward those who caused the
hurts. But she clung tightly to that sack of hurts.

But over time, she started loosening her grip on that sack. Her
curiosity prompting her to explore... what if she let just one of them
go? What if she looked at the men as victims, too? What if she looked
at her mother as woman instead of a villain?

After 50 years of dragging that sack around and boldly showing it to
all she met as if it were proof that she was a good person, she
decided to open it up and just see what happened.

When she looked inside it was filled with bits of paper. At one time
they had words on them, detailing the hurts. But time had faded the
words and all that was left was some tattered and torn scraps of
useless paper. She had been struggling to carry this bag that held
nothing but the image of something that once was.

This sweet little girl had now become an almost-old woman. She saw the
absurdity of lugging that bag around. It made her laugh. She started
laughing and the laughter led to dancing and she felt free!

She was able to see her mother as a young woman with long beautiful
hair. Her mother was a woman, a mother who loved her child, and she
was sad that her little girl felt unloved.

By letting go of the sack of paper, and having compassion for those
that hurt her, this little girl was able to become a woman. The woman
looked in the mirror and said, "I am smart. I am interesting. I am
kind. I am talented."

But most importantly, she was able to say "I am lovable." Although it
took many years, she was finally open to bringing love and respect
into her life in the people she surrounded herself with.

She finally saw the sweet, wonder-filled little girl that she had always been.

Somebody's Mother-..Mary Dow Brine

The woman was old and ragged and gray
And bent with the chill of the Winter's day.

The street was wet with a recent snow
And the woman's feet were aged and slow.

She stood at the crossing and waited long,
Alone, uncared for, amid the throng

Of human beings who passed her by
Nor heeded the glance of her anxious eye.

Down the street with laughter and shout,
Glad in the freedom of 'school let out,"

Came the boys like a flock of sheep,
Hailing the snow piled white and deep.

Past the woman so old and gray
Hastened the children on their way.

Nor offered a helping hand to her-
So meek, so tired, afraid to stir

Lest the carriage wheels or the horses' feet
Should crowd her down in the slippery street.

At last came one of the merry troop,
The gayest laddie of all the group;

He paused beside her and whispered low,
'I'll help you cross, if you wish to go."

Her aged hand on his strong young arm
She placed, and so, without hurt or harm,

He guided the trembling feet along,
Proud that his own were firm and strong.

Then back again to his friends he went,
His young heart happy and well content.

'She's somebody's mother, boys, you know,
For all she's aged and poor and slow,

'And I hope some fellow will lend a hand
To help my mother, you understand,

'If ever she's poor and old and gray,
When her own dear boy is far away.'

And "somebody's mother" bowed low her head
In her home that night, and the prayer she said

Was, 'God be kind to the noble boy,
Who is somebody's son, and pride and joy!"

Saturday, September 29, 2012

Scars

Some years ago on a hot summer day in south Florida a little boy decided to go for a swim in the old swimming hole behind his house. In a hurry to dive into the cool water, he ran out the back door, leaving behind shoes, socks, and shirt as he went. He flew into the water, not realizing that as he swam toward the middle of the lake, an alligator was swimming toward the shore.

His mother, in the house was looking out the window, saw the two as they got closer and closer together. In utter fear, she ran toward the water, yelling to her son as loudly as she could. Hearing her voice, the little boy became alarmed and made a U-turn to swim to his mother. It was too late. Just as he reached her, the alligator reached him. From the dock, the mother grabbed her little boy by the arms just as the alligator snatched his legs. That began an incredible tug-of-war between the two. The alligator was much stronger than the mother, but the mother was much too passionate to let go.

A farmer happened to drive by, heard her screams, raced from his truck, took aim and shot the alligator. Remarkably, after weeks and weeks in the hospital, the little boy survived. His legs were extremely scarred by the vicious attack of the animal. And, on his
arms, were deep scratches where his mother's fingernails dug into his flesh in her effort to hang on to the son she loved.

The newspaper reporter, who interviewed the boy after the trauma, asked if he would show him his scars. The boy lifted his pant legs. And then, with obvious pride, he said to the reporter, "But look at my arms. I have great scars on my arms, too. I have them because my mom wouldn't let go."

You and I can identify with that little boy. We have scars, too. No, not from an alligator, or anything quite so dramatic, but, the scars of a painful past. Some of those scars are unsightly and have caused us deep regret. But, some wounds, my friend, are because God has refused to let go. In the midst of your struggle, He's been there holding on to you. The Scripture teaches that God loves you. If you have God in your life, you have become a child of God. He wants to protect you and provide for you in every way. But sometimes we foolishly wade into dangerous situations. The swimming hole of life is filled with peril – and we forget that the enemy is waiting to attack. That's when the tug-of-war begins, and if you have the scars of His love on your arms be very, very grateful. He did not – and will not – let you go.

Friday, September 28, 2012

A letter written by a Father to his Son.

Following is a letter to his son from a renown Hong Kong TV broadcaster cum Child Psychologist. The words are actually applicable to all of us, young or old, children or parents. I am writing this to you because of 3 reasons:

1. Life, fortune and mishaps are unpredictable, nobody knows how long one lives. Some words are better said early.

2. I am your father, and if I don't tell you these, no one else will.

3. What is written is my own personal bitter experiences that perhaps could save
you a lot of unnecessary heartaches.

Remember the following as you go through life

1. Do not bear grudge towards those who are not good to you. No one has the responsibility of treating you well, except your mother and I.

To those who are good to you, you have to treasure it and be thankful, and ALSO you have to be cautious, because, everyone has a motive for every move. When a person is good to you, it does not mean he really likes you. You have to be careful, don't astily regard him as a real
friend.

2. No one is indispensable, nothing in the world that you must  possess. Once you understand this idea, it would be easier for you to go through life when people around you don't want you anymore, or when you lose what/who you love most.

3. Life is short. When you waste your life today, tomorrow you would find that
life is leaving you. The earlier you treasure your life, the better you enjoy life.

4. Love is but a transient feeling, and this feeling would fade with time and with one's mood. If your so called loved one leaves you, be patient, time will wash away your aches and sadness.Don't over exaggerate the beauty and sweetness of love, and don't overexaggerate the sadness of falling out of love.

5. A lot of successful people did not receive a good education, that does not mean that you can be successful by not studying hard! Whatever knowledge you gain is
your weapon in life. One can go from rags to riches, but one has to start from some rags!

6. I do not expect you to financially support me when I am old, neither would I Financially support you whole life. My responsibility as a supporter ends when you are grown up. After that,you decide whether you want to travel in a public transport or in your limousine, whether rich or poor.

7. You honour your words, but don'texpect others to do so. You can be good to people, but don't expect people to be good to you. If you don't understand this, you would end up with unnecessary troubles.

8. I have bought lotteries for umpteen years, but I never strike any prize. That shows if you want to be rich, you have to work hard! There is no free lunch!
9. No matter how much time I have with you, let's treasure the time we have together. We do not know if we would meet again in our next life.

Your Dad.

Tuesday, September 25, 2012

A short story

A boy 'n a girl were playing together. The boy had a collection of marbles. The girl had some sweets with her.

The boy told the girl that he will give her all his marbles in exchange for her sweets. The girl agreed.

The boy kept the biggest 'n the most beautiful marble aside 'n gave the rest to the girl. The girl gave him all her sweets as she had promised.

That night, the girl slept peacefully. But the boy couldn't sleep as he kept wondering if the girl had hidden some sweets from him the way he had hidden his best marble.

A story story

"Why We Shout In Anger" A Hindu saint who was visiting river Ganges to
take bath found a group of family members on the banks, shouting in
anger at each other. He turned to his disciples smiled 'n asked. 'Why
do people shout in anger shout at each other?' Disciples thought for a
while, one of them said, 'Because we lose our calm, we shout.' 'But,
why should you shout when the other person is just next to you? You
can as well tell him what you have to say in a soft manner.' asked the
saint Disciples gave some other answers but none satisfied the other
disciples.

Finally the saint explained, . 'When two people are angry at each
other, their hearts distance a lot. To cover that distance they must
shout to be able to hear each other. The angrier they are, the
stronger they will have to shout to hear each other to cover that
great distance.

What happens when two people fall in love? They don't shout at each
other but talk softly, Because their hearts are very close. The
distance between them is either nonexistent or very small…' The saint
continued, 'When they love each other even more, what happens? They do
not speak, only whisper 'n they get even closer to each other in their
love. Finally they even need not whisper, they only look at each other
'n that's all. That is how close two people are when they love each
other.'

He looked at his disciples 'n said. 'So when you argue do not let your
hearts get distant, Do not say words that distance each other more, Or
else there will come a day when the distance is so great that you will
not find the path to return.'
Listen to your heart.
If you can't hear what it's saying in this noisy world,
MAKE TIME for yourself.
Enjoy your own company.
Let your mind wander among the stars.

Try. Take Chances.
MAKE MISTAKES.
Life can be messy and confusing at times,
But it's also full of surprises.
The next rock in your path might be a stepping-stone.

Be happy.
When you don't have what you want, want what you have.
MAKE DO.
That's a well-kept secret of contentment.

There aren't any shortcuts to tomorrow.
You have to MAKE YOUR OWN WAY.
You need to know where you've been, too.
And if you ever get lost, don't worry.
The people who love you will find you.
Count on it.

Life isn't days and years.
It's what you do with time and with all the goodness and grace that's
inside you.
MAKE A BEAUTIFUL LIFE...
The kind of life you deserve.

--- Author Unknown